Live! It's 'Dancing' with the snores

OK, so let me just say what I know you're thinking: Hey, if you're going to admit to actually watching "Dancing with the Stars,'' you've pretty much given up any right to complain about it.

I totally get that. I was right there with you until I got sucked into the sequin orgy for the first time last season, and rather enjoyed myself. So ... weak and malnurished by the writers' strike, yeah, I came back for seconds this season. But hey, at least I didn't sit through two hours of "Idol Gives Back'' last night and subject myself to Teri Hatcher attempting to belt out "Before He Cheats.''

All that said, this season of "Dancing with the Stars'' -- consistently on the heels of "American Idol'' for the week's most-watched show in the Nielsen ratings -- is a drag. Or in "Dancing'' speak: 5! 5! 5!

And don't look for it to perk up anytime soon now that America has canned Adam Carolla, a bumbling dancer but a decent unicycle rider with a delightfully snarky sense of humor. Oh wait ... he was the only celeb with a sense of humor. Which is precisely the problem: This year's "Stars'' are about as compelling as this year's "Survivor'' Favorites.

Plus, stretching out those one-hour results show by subjecting us to the Jonas Brothers singing A-Ha's "Take on Me'' doesn't help matters.

Sure, officially the show's about how well you can do the tango or rumba, but all the dance floor action only keeps your interest if you get invested in the the celebs who are doing it. This year's crop hasn't inspired much of that. All their non-dance floor moments backstage, in rehearsals, in interviews are kind of zzzzz. (By the way, no idea what kind of happy drug Steve "The Gut'' Guttenberg was smokin' before each show, but I'll take some, please.)

Here's my gripes with some of this season's remaining competitors:

Jason Taylor: He and Edyta Sliwinska are generating the most heat this season, although I fully suspect some night that the invisible straps on one of her barely-there-outfits will snap and send her dress airborne on live TV. But do we really know anything more about the NFL's Man of the Year now than we did before the show started? No -- except that he has very white teeth.

Kristi Yamaguchi: Every bit as graceful and competent as everyone assumed the figure skater would be, but too guarded and kind of bor-ing. Len has a point: don't feel anything when she dances.

Priscilla Presley: Is it just me, or does the woman look like she's about ready to throw up every time the camera is on her? Yikes. The former Mrs. The King doesn't appear to be comfortable with any of this, or maybe it's just that all the Botox injections make her incapable of showing any enthusiasm.

Marissa Jaret Winokur: I'll give her this much, she's bubbly -- almost, but not quite, to the point where it could get on our nerves. But at least the Broadway star seems happy to be there.

Cristian de la Fuente: Still have no idea who this "international film star'' is, but he pulls off the no-shirt thing quite well. He also seems waaay uptight during the judges' critiques, like he could unleash major profanity in Spanish if they say the wrong thing.

Shannon Elizabeth: Probably my favorite dancer -- kind of this season's Jennie Garth. Too bad I had absolutely no interest in her or her career prior to "Stars,'' nor will I once the show is over.

Thoughts from anyone else out there on this season's celebs? Was last season just THAT good that this one was bound to be a disappointment?

-- Kendra Meinert, kmeinert@greenbaypressgazette.com