The end is near ...

That's right, Randy Jackson's Awesomely Annoyingly Addictive America's Best Dance Crew is at the final stages. Last night's performances brought the competition down to just two - who battled it out head-to-head for America's votes. And of course, what would America's Best Dance Crew be without the ghetto slang of Shane Sparks, the idiotic commentary by Lil' Mama and the douchey style of J.C. Chasez.

Now on with the show. The evening was intense from the start as the 12 dance crews were now widdled down to just three: Kaba Modern, JabbaWockeeZ and Status Quo. The battle this round gave each crew a chance to go back in time and show their version of the evolution of street dancing. It wasn't quite as sweet as the YouTube video we've all seen with that white boy busting a move through the generations of dance in like 60 seconds but it was close.

First the shocker: the three find out which two crews are going to have to battle it out to get to perform for the finale and what? Status Quo is safe? JabbaWockeeZ and Kaba Modern are the bottom two crews? Hmm ... in the words of Simon Cowell, "I believe America got it wrong. Ryan Seacrest is a d-bag." Ok, that last part was probably unnecessary but it is good to get that into a blog every week or so.

All performers were given the same music -- which includes a shameful plug of J.C. Chasez's terrible hit with *Nsync "Bye, Bye, Bye" -- and are required to showcase each of the different eras of street dancing: popping, locking, breaking, new jack swing (wtf? yeah, i know) and pop. Up first, the somehow-saved Status Quo hits the stage. Their performance was less than thrilling and personally, I'm so over their whole "wha, wha?" angry-faced finishes. Yes, we know you think you just killed it and it was totally in our face, but why does that make you look angry? Sure, Status Quo could arguably have the best stunts but they're like the cheerleading mantra: They're dancers gone retarded. When they do choreography they're never together and the moves just aren't at the same level as the stunts. Also, FYI Status Quo -- don't put the biggest, clumsiest dancer in front ... it's distracting.

Next up, my personal favorite, JabbaWockeeZ busted out their moves. The red masks were a little freaky and I couldn't really tell if they were supposed to be janitors or a flight crew, but the performance was extrememly dancetastic. Yes, that's a real word ... made up by me, whatevs. The point is, even with the douchey moves of *Nsync intertwined in the performance, it was everything and more. Speaking of douchey and *Nsync, tonight J.C. has graced our presence while wearing a bowtie ... good call, dude. Anyway, Jabba's performance proved that they shouldn't be at the bottom and likely will be the champions of this competition. The dude spinning on his head for, like, half an hour at the end says it all.



Giving their take on street dance evolution, Kaba Modern showed they are pretty solid and even incorporated costume changes throughout the performance ... quite impressive but at times looked a little sloppy. They're the final group to have chicks in the mix -- which doesn't really bode well for them (sorry feminists, but America seems to like the all guy groups a little more) -- but they've proven over and again that they have the talent to be in the bottom three.

So right after I just typed that, *SPOILER ALERT* Kaba Modern got sent home. Wow, good call me. But really, when it's down to Kaba Modern or JabbaWockeeZ, there's just no competition. They didn't have a chance. I'm still boggled why Status Quo is still here. Weren't they the crew that was up for elimination, um, like three times in a row? I bet one of them is hooking up with Lil' Mama.

Down to just two, Status Quo and Jabba's battle it out for a final vote from America -- one that will be open all week, until next Thursday's episode for the finale. For the final dance, both crews have a chance to choose whatever they want to do, wear and the music they want to dance to. Status Quo picks a Circus theme basically with a bunch of scary-ass clowns and a big trampoline-style Jack-in-the-Box ... anyone remember IT? Well this performance was like 10 times scarier ... but mostly because of the really weird moves and random running around.

JabbaWockeeZ came out in red self-advertising sweatsuits and their classic white masks. Their performance was a total opposite from Status Quo -- no gimmicks, no crazy costumes, not over the top at all. Some could argue that it was too simple and downplayed for a final dance but I think they were doing a smart thing and keeping it strictly to their style and their classic moves. It was definitely an afterthought when you consider their evolution of street dancing performance and it was simple -- which could be a good or a bad thing. One complaint: I don't mean to be insensitive, but Jabba's - we know you guys lost a crew member and that's super sad but if you could go like three seconds without pointing up at the sky, hitting your chest then giving the props to your dead bro ... well that'd be great. I promise no one will forget that you have another crew member popping and locking it with the big J-C.

The crews have done all they can and now it's all up to you America. Whoa, that was waaaay too Mario Lopez for me, minus the dimples, natch. Sorry bout that, my bad. But yeah, if you want to be like me and vote in secret without charging it on your cellulars, vote here. Check out all the performances here too, they're worth another watch ... as long as no one catches you and discovers your secret, mocking you for life.

--Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com