Chuck a snowball at your favorite — make that least favorite — Fox star
If there's anything worse than getting dumped on by 14 inches of snow in 24 hours, it's following it up with a fierce cold snap that won't even let the white stuff be packy enough to make adequate snowballs. Or, it's getting all that snow and cold, and then being stuck inside all day having to watch crappy Fox shows like "Lie to Me" and "Til Death."
Luckily, Fox has sensed their audience's intense hatred of annoying characters like Cleveland from "The Cleveland Show" or Rachel from "Glee," or real-life TV personalities such as Simon Cowell or Cat Deeley, and they've created a game to let us inflict a little pain on them, however superficially. "Fox Snowball Fight!", available on the network's website, is a stupefyingly satisfying Flash game that pits you against a wide array of the network's stars.
No less than twelve (twelve!) characters from that perky piece of garbage "Glee" are ready and waiting for you to knock their nerd glasses off their nerd faces. The smug stars of "Fringe" won't look so clever when dancing around with loose snow down the back of their shirts. And two words: Kara DioGuardi. Who hasn't wanted to drive a few chunks of ice at her skull?
Sure, the game goes a little far with the inclusion of "Brothers" star Daryl "Chill" Mitchell, who is, after all, in a freaking wheelchair. It's not as much fun pretend-assaulting celebrities with snowballs when one of them is physically disabled. But it wouldn't be a Fox endeavor if something about it weren't inappropriate — in which case, kudos, Fox, for living up to your rep.
My other complaint? No inclusion of Fox News stars like Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity. But I'm sure if Beck were offered as an opponent, the Internet would collapse from everybody trying to wallop him at once. So maybe it's for the best.
Overall a crass, diverting way to waste a few minutes, "Fox Snowball Fight!" is also cleansing for the soul, much in the way I imagine vampire slaying would be. Now if you'll excuse me, Gordon Ramsey's lookin' a little too dry over there...
— Adam Reinhard, firstname.lastname@example.org