My So-Called Column: Desperate to watch 'Housewives' again

Part of being married to a TV blogger (and all-around DVR addict) is accepting that you won't be nearly as productive as you once were thanks to a roll call of shows that includes "Mad Men," "Breaking Bad" and "The Wire." Yet Thomas Rozwadowski's wife, Mary, has successfully stared into the boob tube abyss, and much like George Costanza with the forbidden city, is getting her hand stamped so she can come and go on Channel Surfing as she pleases. It's why she'll periodically check in with a set of rants and raves we're dubbing Mary's "so-called" column -- aptly named since she used to want to marry Jordan Catalano. Or was that Brian Krakow?

Throughout its six seasons, I've often wondered why I kept up with "Desperate Housewives."

What started as an innovative reflection of life in suburbia laden with mystery and dark humor quickly became trite and forced after the show’s driving plot was all too neatly wrapped up at the close of Season 1. Maybe it was the sexy way James Denton pronounced his S’s (don’t tell me I’m the only one who noticed) or my secret desire to be one of Bree Van de Kamp’s children (hey, the woman can cook). Or, maybe I was just that desperate for something to occupy my time.

Either way, I stayed through Mike’s cliché bout of amnesia, Bree’s yawn-worthy relationship with a creepy pharmacist who poisoned her husband, and even the introduction of ultra-annoying Kiersten Warren as Tom Scavo’s ex-lover. (seriously, the woman managed to make “Saved by the Bell: The College Years” even more unbearable than we all knew it would be.) But, after writers decided to advance the show five years – what could’ve been the final nail in the coffin – the show developed fresh plot lines and regained its quirky, enigmatic sentiment.

I’ve been just as impressed with this season’s episodes as those of last year, but a preview for next week is giving me pause. Apparently a plane crashes on Wisteria Lane – which sounds sickeningly similar to the tornado that whipped through the community in Season 4 (and memorably resulted in the death of Victor, “Mad Men’s” John Slattery, after he was impaled by a white picket fence post).

This forced irony and shock-and-awe plot device has no place in Fairview and is better left to ABC’s “Lost.” Between the Lynette-Carlos feud, a strangler on the loose, crazy Katherine Mayfair, and the mystery surrounding Angie Bolen’s (Drea de Matteo of “The Sopranos”) family – and those horrifying burns on her back – isn’t there enough nail biting drama?

Since I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the clever twists the show has taken over the past year, perhaps I should give "DH" writers the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they can successfully intermix action with the sultry, eccentric story lines that personify the show. Unless something too obviously ironic happens – like a soccer mom’s minivan shielding the housewives from having their heads sliced off by the plane’s impellers – I suppose it’s safe to assume that whatever the result, I’ll still be watching in 2010.

-- Mary Rozwadowski, guest columnist