I think you can see where I'm going here.
This season of "Project Runway" has definitely had its ups and downs, but I don't think anyone could've predicted the eventual tyranny of Lord Kenley -- and last night's episode proved it's only getting worse.
This week's challenge was to give a 20-something college graduate a makeover so they'd have an edge in the real world. (Translation: Make these girls an outfit that's appropriate for coffee fetching and slave work.) Oh, and their nosy and controlling mothers must approve of the outfit as well. Not going to lie, when they initially showed the silhouette of that first Smoker McSmokerson mother, I literally thought it was another Drag Queen challenge. Sorry Mom! But at least it was an honest mistake, unlike Leanne's brutal comment that she didn't want to make "old lady dresses."
So the girls get randomly paired with designers -- Kenley gets her own little minion, Mini-Kenley as she's nicknamed -- and the ideas start flowing. Some, like Jerell and Kenley, get a cooperative group of mother-daughters, while others like Leanne and Joe have a bit of a tougher sell. Kenley starts plans for her typical overused and underwhelming 50s-era dress with -- gasp! -- a patterned print that's not technically floral, but let's be honest, might as well have been. The references to her self-proclaimed awesomeness reaches uber-vomit levels when she discusses how she's "definitely going to be in the Top 3" and meets any and all criticism with a sassy attitude that makes Omarosa look humble. (Next week doesn't appear to be any better as one clip shows Kenley questioning exactly what Tim Gunn knows about fashion ... Wow.)
But alas, the girl can sew and as much as I hate to admit it, I know we'll see her at Bryant Park. The thing that kills me the most is that I started this season a big Kenley fan. I found her designs to be very wearable and her style awesomely vintage. But now, the tides have turned and her gargantuan love of herself has taken her straight to the bottom of my list.
Sure, she can back it up and you could argue that Christian was definitely a fan of himself, but it's different this time around. This time, it's not confidence, it's just arrogance. These designers should be proud of their looks and stand behind them 100 percent, but when you have the perception that you're already the best -- no room for improvement -- where else is there to go but down? She's 25 years old and if she plans on having a long career in fashion, she better get off her sassy high horse and start thanking the Gods of Chanel that she has a chance to get the advice of such brilliant designers, Tim Gunn included.
I wish I could say Kenley's 'tude was the most hideous thing about last night's episode, but unfortunately that title belongs to Suede's Coco Cabana catastrophe. Seriously, what was that? I was honestly shocked that the judges didn't take one look at those puffy, pirate shirt sleeves and say "Auf wiedersehen!" Granted yes, Joe made a suit that looked like it was straight off Melanie Griffith in "Working Girl," but Suede has been awful time after time. Then again, as soon as they showed Joe missing his family and making one last connection with viewers, you almost had to expect he would be "out." And truth be told, it's never a good situation when the girl looked better before her makeover. Still Suede is just buying his time until he's eventually booted off the show. Even Suede must know that it's Suede's time to leave the show, because Suede said Suede was a little nervous about going home. Suede. Suede. Suede.
As long as adorable Jerell and emerging star Leanne (even solid Korto) continue winning challenges, there's still plenty to look forward to before "PR" hits Bryant Park. If there's any God, he'll ensure that Kenley gets the karma she deserves and is sent packing before Fashion Week. I mean, singing your own praises is one thing, but when she burst out laughing during Joe's critique and mention of the "pocket square," it was not only unprofessional but severely damaging to her chances of being taken seriously in the fashion world. And she'd better watch her eye rolling when it's announced that she didn't win.
The challenges that remain for our Top 5 will surely be a chance for the winners to shine and the losers, both evident in talent and personality, will be hitting the road. We'll have to see next week if Tim lays his papa Gunns on Kenley and sends her back to reality. Either way, that's just good TV.
Catch "Project Runway" Wednesdays at 8 p.m. on Bravo.
-- Sara Boyd, firstname.lastname@example.org