"Top Chef Masters" reveals Season 2 field

Ever since Bravo concocted that totally transparent Voltaggio smackdown last season, we've been going through some serious "Top Chef" withdrawal at Channel Surfing.

So it was nice to finally see the list of esteemed names who'll be competing in Season 2 of the all-star laden "Top Chef Masters" spin-off.

Unless you've been avoiding our glorious Channel Surfing odes (tsk, tsk), you should already know that Chicago's own Rick Bayless took the "Masters" crown in Season 1. Well, six competitors from that same culinary-rich season are back, including fellow Windy City restaurateur Graham Elliot Bowles, Mark Peel, Jonathan Waxman and three names that "Masters" viewers should immediately remember, Wylie Dufresne, Rick Moonen, and of course, snooty Frenchman Ludo Lefebvre.

The show also welcomes back Kelly Choi as host, along with judges Gael Greene, James Oseland, Jay Rayner and another familiar face, "Top Chef" regular Gail Simmons (who apparently is also the host of "Top Chef: Just Desserts" and quite possibly, "CSI: Top Chef.")

Wait, it gets better! The list of Season 2 special guests includes "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening and voice guru Hank Azaria, Mekhi Phifer and the casts of "Modern Family" and "Real Housewives of Orange County."

Moe the Bartender and Manny Delgado? You've outdone yourself, Bravo network.

The new season of "Top Chef Masters" premieres April 7. Here are all 22 competitors:

Jody Adams — Rialto Restaurant, Cambridge, Mass.
Govind Armstrong — 8 oz Burger Bar, Los Angeles
Graham Elliot Bowles — Graham Elliot Restaurant, Chicago
Jimmy Bradley — The Red Cat, New York
David Burke — David Burke Townhouse, New York
Wylie Dufresne — wd~50, New York
Susan Feniger — Street, Los Angeles
Debbie Gold — The American Restaurant, Kansas City
Carmen Gonzalez — Chef Consultant, New York
Maria Hines — Tilth, Seattle
Susur Lee — Madeline's, Toronto
Ludo Lefebvre — Ludo Bites, Los Angeles
Tony Mantuano — Spiaggia, Chicago
Rick Moonen — Rick Moonen's RM Seafood at Mandalay Bay, Las Vegas
Mark Peel — Campanile, Los Angeles
Monica Pope — t'afla, Houston
Thierry Rautureau — Rover's, Seattle
Marcus Samuelsson — The Red Rooster, New York
Ana Sortun — Oleana, Cambridge, Mass.
Rick Tramonto — TRU, Chicago
Jerry Traunfeld — Poppy, Seattle
Jonathan Waxman — Barbuto, New York

-- Thomas Rozwadowski, trozwado@greenbaypressgazette.com

Everyone's Favorite Italian tackles "Top Recipe"

It's been several months since Sara Boyd and I gigglingly interviewed "Top Chef" contestant Fabio Viviani for this blog, but I'm still riding from the high. Occasionally, I'll go back and listen to the interview (not on work time, of course). You, too, can still check out the Fabio-less interview here.

We've been clamoring for Fabio to get his own television show -- perhaps with subtitles since his Eeeenglish still needs work -- but apparently Bravo is already capitalizing on the Italian's obvious popularity. Since "Top Chef Masters" debuted, the skaaahlllop-hater has been hosting a mini Web series called "Top Recipe" where he recreates that week's winning chef''s "deeeeeshes." I wish Bravo promoted this online extra a little more because it's vintage Fabio. He's quick, friendly and downright hilarious as he attempts to tackle everything from Michael Chiarello's dessert of strawberries with goat milk basil gelato to Anita Lo's braised daikon with steak tartar.

Just a few of the Fabio-tastic quotes from various webisodes:

"For me, use gloves while cooking is like a motorcycle rider touching his head with a helmet. It doesn't make any sense. You have to feel it. That's why I touch everything."

"This is what happen when you get pepper in your face. You don't want to get pepper in your eyes."

Here's Fabio recreating Hubert Keller's dorm room version of mac-and-cheese, except for the whole cooling the pasta in the bathroom part, thankfully. (I'm having trouble embedding the Bravo video). The rest of the videos can be found here on the Bravo TV Web site.

Episodes of "Top Chef Masters" air Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo. And, the much anticipated next season of "Top Chef" is back on Aug. 26 from Las Vegas!

--Malavika Jagannathan, mjaganna@greenbaypressgazette.com

"NYC Prep" -- Why Are These Kids So Ugly?

After the success of the "Real Housewives" series -- the reality response to the popularity of "Desperate Housewives" -- it's no surprise that Bravo TV is applying the same drama-to-reality formula to "Gossip Girl."

Last week Bravo debuted "NYC Prep" -- a "real-life" version of the CW show -- and it's obvious the producers are typecasting the six rich and preppy kids they follow on the show into the "Gossip" mold. So, why, oh why would Bravo cast such unattractive, annoying, spoiled brats for the show? After watching the second episode of the show last night, I can't help but wonder why these kids, who apparently have all the money in the world, couldn't pull in a little plastic surgery time before getting in front of the cameras. (Mean, yes, but these kids have more money in their little fingers than I do in my bank account and they signed up for the show, so fair's fair).

Jessie the aspiring fashionista is probably symbolic of all that's wrong with this show. I probably shouldn't badmouth a teenager, but homegirl is positively hideous and completely boring to boot (see photo to the right). Aside from dropping names in the fashion biz, something anyone with access to "Project Runway" episodes could do, she constantly plugs her pet charity cause of "Operation: Smile." The funniest moment in the show so far has to be when her bff P.C. -- an 18-year-old who is prone to saying pathetic things like "but that’s what New York is: money is power" and talks to his shrink about how he's sooo past high school -- lectures Jessie about why she couldn't have picked a cause that's more relevant.

The other three girls on the show, with the exception of poor little public schooler Taylor (who attends the competitive magnet school Stuyvesant, not some inner city neighborhood school, but feels the need to cover up this inadequacy with rich and preppy friends), are equally vapid, unattractive and obnoxious. Camille fancies herself as Blair Waldorf with her headbands and Harvard dreams, but comes off as unintelligent and lifeless unlike her fictional counterpart. Kelli, an aspiring singer who lives alone in Manhattan with her brother while her parents live in the Hamptons, is equally bland.

Even supposed playboy Sebastian — whose sophomoric version of seduction is speaking bad sixth grade French and flipping his Farrah Fawcett 'do (may she RIP) — looks and acts more like a Boy Scout troop leader than the bad boy he supposedly is. Also, for all his talk of "hooking up with girls," we're two episodes in and the most Sebastian's done to maintain his player reputation is get a lot of phone numbers and lip lock with Taylor. Sebastian does, however, remind us of another faux-Frenchman -- Quasimodo from Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame." Check out this photo and make the comparison yourself!

Ken Tucker of EW, no TV reality snob, calls the show actively annoying "with its privileged nobodies flaunting their self-perceived hotness and their my-perceived inarticulateness." I can't help but agree with him, but I also can't help watching. In a way, it's uncomfortable. The best thing about shows like "Gossip Girl" and "The O.C." is that it's made-up, a fantasy of how the other one-half-percent lives to help us cope with the reality of a flailing economy. Watching these privileged teenagers come to life is almost repulsive, but I still can't take my eyes off this train wreck.

"NYC Prep" airs on Bravo TV on Tuesdays at 8 p.m.

Confess this and other guilty pleasures in the comments. This is a no judgement zone!

--Malavika Jagannathan, mjaganna@greenbaypressgazette.com

Commercial Interruption: "Top Chef Masters" makes us hungry for more

Sometimes there's just too much television for one Channel Surfing blogger to handle. That's when we need a break to sit back, relax and indulge in some friendly back-and-forth (via email, of course — we don't actually like to speak to one another in person). Bloggers Thomas Rozwadowski and Malavika Jagannathan are salivating over the latest episodes of "Top Chef Masters." True, we were originally suspicious when Bravo came out with "Top Chef Masters" as a summer stand-in for our favorite foodie competition. Would watching real chefs compete against each other for charity carry the same intrigue week after week as monkey ass in clam shells or badly made rice? Three episodes in and we're sold on the premise that watching successful chefs made great food for good causes is just as exciting as the food fights we're used to witnessing on "Top Chef." And perhaps even better.

Malavika: I don't know about anyone else, but I love the format of "Top Chef Masters" where four chefs compete each week for a spot in the six-person "championship round." Unlike the chaos of the first few episodes of "Top Chef," when we invariably end up nicknaming people because we can't remember their names, this has more of an intimate quality to it. You get a feeling for the chefs, their styles of cooking and even a little insight into their food. So far, that's been phenomenal. Last night's episode was a great example of why this competition works. The chefs -- Rick Bayless, Wilo Benet, Ludo Lefebvre (everyone's favorite insane Gaul) and Cindy Pawlcyn -- all had varying styles of cooking and backgrounds from Ludos' classical French training to Cindy's self-taught wine country cooking. When asked to produce a viable street food from their choice of offal (heart, tongue, guts and ears), the results were pretty spectacular. I won't lie -- those tongue tacos that Bayless whipped up looked pretty damn tasty -- and that's coming from a vegetarian!

Tom, what do you like about the show?

Thomas: I know this much: between "Top Chef Masters" and all the Food Network shows I've been watching during the summer doldrums, I'll be 300 lbs. by August.

I absolutely LOVE "Masters," save for Kelly Choi, who Sara Boyd rightly dubbed the "Human Mii Character." Her abnormal head and body configuration is harder to look at than pointy pig ears.

I'm going to say right now that I enjoy "Masters" more than the normal show, simply because I love watching the best of the best compete -- and for the most part, do so without resorting to typical reality TV shadiness. These are superstar chefs who simply take pride in their craft.

Even watching Ludo last night -- the man is clearly an arrogant jack (his accusation that Rick Bayless "copied" him was pretty ridiculous), but I was still rooting for him because that was pure passion oozing out as blood beet gazpacho. Now, I wasn't rooting for him as much as say, Bayless -- seriously, how excited is that dude to be a chef on TV. He's beams like a kid at Christmas -- but basically, I don't want to see anyone fail.

Now that's probably because of the format and the fact that we aren't getting to know these people (and their annoying Leah or Lisa the Hutt-like habits) after several weeks. But I'm encouraged and entertained by a show that offers a level playing field and just says, "OK, time to be creative, what do you got?" The show reminds me of a more polished "Next Iron Chef." Reputations are too important to maintain, so people just do their jobs -- and do them really, really well. Coincidentally, John Besh, the runner-up from that show, is on next week's episode (also featuring Neil Patrick Harris), so I'm really looking forward to that.

I also think Ludo needs his own show with Fabio and Stefan called "The Euros." They could insult each other constantly, remain defiant about how their food is always better than some simple-minded American chef's, and then come together for group massages.

On a final note, do you miss Colicchio, MJ? I really like the new "critics" panel, especially the British dude who puts Toby "I Use Stupid Movie Metaphors" Young to shame. I haven't even given ol' Lex Luthor much thought since "Masters" started. That's how much I'm loving this show!

Malavika: First of all, I'm going to Ludo you and accuse you of stealing my idea of having him do a show with Fabio and Stefan. That was totally my genius idea! (The entire show would need to be subtitled, but it would rule). They could also end each episode with an impromptu soccer match with Ludo head-butting Fabio in an homage to the 2006 World Cup final between France and Italy.

I'm fresh out of "European" references, so, that being said, I do miss Tom Colicchio. I like the critics, especially Gael Greene and her impressive supply of felt hats, but I wish the panel included a chef and one less "critic." It's understandable why you wouldn't want a chef to critique a fellow chef -- and possible friend. Still I wonder if the critics' opinions are worth anything more than your average diner's opinion because they don't seem to focus on technique as much as they do on taste.

Again, I'm just nitpicking what is clearly shaping up to be a fabulous show. The beauty of the premise is such that there's no clear forerunner -- although, "Top Chef" viewers know there's no such thing as a surefire winner (ahem Hosea ahem) -- and any one of these fine chefs would walk away with the prize.

Any final thoughts?

Thomas: Tacos! Quesadillas! Shows with Fabio and Stefan! All these ideas are in the air, MJ. Next you're going to say you have a great muffin top idea you want to peddle.

I think we've expressed enough "Top Chef Masters" love for one day. Now, we just need to get you to ditch "Real Housewives of New Jersey" and start watching "The Next Food Network Star."

--Malavika Jagannathan, mjaganna@greenbaypressgazette.com and Thomas Rozwadowski, trozwado@greenbaypressgazette.com

What We Wouldn't Normally Watch: Real Housewives of New Jersey

It's that time of year when the tank tops come out, the deck gets refinished and regular season television shows take a break. But does that also mean we're allowed to take a hiatus from our discerning standards? In this new segment -- "What We Wouldn't Normally Watch" -- Channel Surfing bloggers explore the shows they would never watch during the regular season, but don't mind delving into when the weather is warm.

Channel Surfing blogger Malavika Jagannathan explains her unnatural fascination with Bravo TV's "The Real Housewives of New Jersey."

Malavika: "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" has all the makings of a trashy soap opera with a dash of "The Sopranos" thrown in for good measure. Because what's a show set in New Jersey without an overt comparison to the state's most famous exports? But, seriously, it's hard not to be obsessed with the silly, scandalous and self-indulgent housewives of this show with their gaudy mansions and their obsession with plastic surgery (fake "bubbies" as I've started calling them). They're so gauche, it hurts.

If you've never watched an episode of the "Housewives" shows -- so far, the show has crisscrossed the country from Orange County to New York with a bizarre pit stop in Atlanta -- you're not missing anything. But this particular version is tantalizing summer fare. For one, it's New Jersey and these gals live the stereotype to the max. The hair, the accents, the Italian heritage, the possible mobster connections, it's all there! If you think I'm kidding about the mobster connections, I'm not. The father-in-law of two of the housewives -- Dina and Caroline Manzo -- had ties to the Gambino familiy before being found executed mob-style in the trunk of a car, according to the New York Daily News.

Aside from Dina and Caroline, the show focuses on their sister-in-law Jacqueline Laurita, friend Teresa Giudice and frenemy Danielle Staub. The tumultuous back-stabbing relationship between Dina and Danielle drives much of the drama with sweet Jacqueline often in the middle (she's friends with Danielle, but also has family obligations). Teresa spends much of the show waiting to move into her new McMansion of marble and onyx or trying to get her 7-year-old daughter a modeling contract. Danielle is clearly the villain of the bunch. For one, her Botoxed face rarely betrays emotion -- and when it does, it's a frightening cross between Jacko and Joan Rivers -- and she has a sordid history of prostitution and drug arrests that surfaces on the show. She's a serial dater with poor taste in men and calls her two young daughters her best friends. It's two parts pathetic to one part scary -- ie. your basic drama cocktail.

This is vapid reality fare at best, but it's definitely a step above, say. "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here." Capping off a rather short 6-episode season, Bravo TV will air the season finale tonight, but expect to see these Garden State gals on reruns. On Saturday, Bravo TV will air all the episodes in a row starting at 3 p.m., so set your DVRs or spend some quality time on the couch!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey" airs tonight at 9 p.m. on Bravo TV. Want a quick preview of the show? Check out this clip (don't have the volume too high -- the shrieks will kill your hearing otherwise):



--Malavika Jagannathan, mjaganna@greenbaypressgazette.com

'Top Chef: Masters' fight off disasters

When I heard the premise of "Top Chef: Masters," I wasn't completely convinced it was something I wanted to tune into.

Here you have professional chefs -- chefs, who by the simple placement of being on this show have "made it." Chefs who are extremely successful -- yet, I'll be honest, I've never heard of most of them -- and chefs who are deemed "professional" (aka: will likely be well mannered, not cause any drama with other chefs ... and forget about catching a Hosea-Leah-like canoodling fest.) Let's call a spade a spade here --professional chefs could very well equal a snooze fest.

However, last night's premiere pleasantly surprised me, if for no other reason than it made these chefs get back to their roots and as one chef said, "was a humbling experience." Sure, they don't have a career and success riding on the line -- all participants compete for a charity of their choice -- but they're fighting for something even better. Pride.

These true "top chefs" are used to people kissing their molasses and telling them how great they are when they're working in their element and in their multi-million dollar restaurants. What they're not used to is going head-to-head with other top chefs and having to be a one-man (or woman) kitchen. Or having their egos tested.

The set up for "Masters" is a little different than I imagined. Instead of the typical "Top Chef" show where all contestants compete against each other for the title of top dawg, "Masters" takes four pro chefs and puts them in a tournament of sorts. With 24 chefs total, the pros are broken off into groups of four with the winner of each group advancing to a final round. The six winners will go through a series of episodes with a one-person elimination until one "Master" remains. The Top Chef Master will receive $100,000 for the charity of their choice.

First up for the show's premiere were chefs Hubert Keller, Christopher Lee, Michael Schlow and Tim Love. Honestly, I have no idea who any of these chefs are but I remembered Hubert from season one of "Top Chef," so there's that. (Sidenote: Mr. Keller moonlights as a DJ, which is maybe the sweetest "fun fact" ever. After he announced his love of turntables, I couldn't stop thinking of the song "God is a DJ" ... I'm guessing Pink saw Hubert scratching at a club once and got confused. Totally valid. The man looks like God's half-brother.)

The show also introduced host Kelly Choi as the replacement for Padma. Not going to lie, this woman scares the bejesus out of me. It's like watching a bobblehead doll, seriously. I don't know who this woman is but she has the largest noggin I've ever seen. She's a real-life carmel apple. OK, I'm done. Oh, one more ... Kelly Choi is a human Wii character. I want to see her bowl. Or play tennis.

Anyway, the show kicked off with a quickfire challenge of "Top Chef's" past. The challenge was to create the most creative and delicious dessert in 60 minutes. The judges? A group of Girl Scouts. When this challenge appeared on season four -- Blaiser Blais knocked it out of the park. This time around, it seemed a bit more difficult. The master chefs made everything from strawberry smoothies and chicken-fried strawberries to what can only be described as an assortment of poo-shaped chocolate.

It was great to see these top chefs get cut down by a group of little girls. Most notably, "the redhead" was extremely critical -- typical ginger. All the girls seemed to like Keller's the most --and only because he made a whip cream mouse and gave him a chocolate tail, which earned him the most "awww, cute's" of the chefs. Instead of getting advantages from quickfires, the chefs are given "gold stars." No, seriously. After decades of world-reknowned cooking, Hubert Keller was given gold stars from 10-year-old girls.

On to the elimination challenge. The chefs -- who were used to working in multi-million dollar kitchens -- were now headed back to college to cook dorm style. The tools of choice included a microwave, a hot plate and a toaster oven. First of all, who is allowed a hot plate or toaster oven these days? I recall being told by my RA that both were fire hazards, which truly made eating anything in the dorms a large challenge. Nevertheless, they had to give the chefs something to cook with and from the looks of it, that was enough of a challenge.

Not only did the chefs have to cook with dorm utensils but the famous cooks had to prepare these meals -- a three-course meal, at that -- in actual dorm rooms. What a treat.

I personally enjoyed watching Tim Love cook. The southerner had a great personality and was hilarious as the straight shooter. But after a snafu with confusing the freezer for the fridge, I knew he was probably in trouble. I don't know how one confuses the two -- especially how one who is a famous chef confuses the two, but I have a feeling he won't live that one down.

Taking the initiative to make his own pasta for some good ol' mac and cheese left Keller with a dilemma on how to keep the noodles warm, while sufficiently draining the water out. Instead of turning to panic, the crafty DJ cook headed to the bathroom to utilize the sinks and shower, running hot water from the shower over the noodles while they drained out below. What a way to wet your noodle. Ahem, I'm still talking about food here.

Anyway, the trick paid off and beat out Tim Love's pozole, Michael Schlow's pork and Chris Lee's creamy risotto. Not a surprise given the impressions his dishes made -- even on the picky redhead during the quickfire. So Keller advances to the final round as the first winner and successfully charms me enough to make me tune in again next week. Not to mention the previews for upcoming episodes.

It looks like the "Masters" will have some special guest stars including Fabio Viviani from last season, Antonia Lofaso from season four of "Top Chef," adorable Zooey Deschanel and my hero, NPH (aka: Neil Patrick Harris).

Catch "Top Chef: Masters" Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.

-- Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com

Why Are We Still Watching: "The Fashion Show"

Typically when the summer months approach, the good shows take a break for the season. And typically this is no big deal because the weather is nice -- finally -- so who wants to stay inside and watch TV?

Clearly, this is not the case in Green Bay. With rain, 50-degree weather and only peaks of sunshine, it seems this year good television left too early. What's left is re-runs, mediocre summer series (with the exception of "So You Think You Can Dance," natch) and bad remakes of show's we've already seen.

Which is probably why Channel Surfing bloggers Malavika Jagannathan and Sara Boyd are asking themselves, "Why are we still watching 'The Fashion Show'?" When we first heard of the show's arrival, we were already unsure if it could fill the big shoes of "Project Runway" -- who was on its way to Lifetime. Now, episodes later, we're still unsure but for some reason we just can't seem to stop watching.

Sara: I'll be the first to admit, as much as I didn't want to watch "The Fashion Show" (as I felt like it was a betrayal to my loyal "Project Runway" viewings) that show sucked me in anyway. Before I knew it, I was listening to Kelly Rowland tell designers to fix their 'tude and watching a man named Merlin wear what can only be described as chipmunk fur.

It's not nearly as good as "PR" -- perhaps because they don't have Papa Gunn "making it work" or Heidi Klum giving designers the Deutsch-style boot. But even so, there's something intriguing enough about this fashion show that I continue tuning in. I haven't gotten to a point where it's made my DVR list but thanks to Bravo's re-run style, it seems I'm always able to catch an episode. Perhaps my slight distaste for the show comes from the designers, who remind me more of "Top Design" drama than "PR" drama. Or perhaps it's because there's such an emphasis on everyday fashion, rather than "PR's" high fashion. Though, that's also quite apparent through the designers. It seems the level of sophistication isn't as strong, nor is the talent.

I do, however, have a few standouts that bring me back to the show. First of all, I love Reco. I know I shouldn't because he's a giant egomaniac but I do. And I know if I were a contestant, there's no way I'd like him -- but as an outsider, I find him hilarious. He's like a gay, bitchy Dave Chappelle -- or at least what I would imagine Dave Chappelle acting like if he was playing a queen. Also, I like Daniella's designs and Angel's designs but I cannot stand either of them personally. So there's that.

MJ, you've been a quasi-nay-sayer from the start. What keeps you watching this show?

Malavika: I wish I knew. Just last Thursday, when I tuned into the latest episode (read: shoe debacle) after the finale of the Spelling Bee (read: nerd), I had to ask myself why on earth I was still watching. Every fiber in my body screams "this is sacrilege!" and I want to maim, if not mutilate, more than half of the contestants. But I continue to watch -- and let me try to reason out why without repeating too much of what Sara has already said.

One, it's the summer and I don't want to be reduced to watching Lifetime movies like "Mother, May I Sleep With Danger," which I watched on Tuesday night out of sheer desperation. If you're wondering, the movie does feature a post-90210 Tori Spelling.

Two, it's a reality show but it doesn't totally suck. Sure, it's not "Project Runway" level of class, but it's not "Survivor." Most reality shows on Bravo, with a few exceptions, are well above the vomitricious level of most reality television.

Three. Well, I've run out of reasons. But here's what I like about the show. Many of the dresses featured last night were totally things I'd wear if I had money to shop and so I think the show fulfils one of its core promises: focussing on saleability of clothes. There's the usual contestant-upon-contestant drama, including last week's episode where the underwear designer who got kicked off this week stole an idea from another contestant, but as you can tell, I can only really remember three of four of their names (one being the vile Merlin and the other is the aforementioned gay-Dave Chapelle Reco).

I think the "quickfire" challenges add a nice speed element to the show that I'd argue is missing from "Project Runway," which tends to focus a lot of time on revealing the main challenge. Overall, the designers aren't terrible, even if they don't seem to be the same caliber as we're used to seeing on "PR."

Kelly Rowland's bland hosting skills and Merlin's over-the-top costumes alone should make me flee, but I simply can't quit now. Besides, what else am I going to watch?

"The Fashion Show" airs on Bravo on Thursdays at 9 p.m.

--Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com and Malavika Jagannathan, mjaganna@greenbaypressgazette.com

Will Bravo's "Fashion Show" give us our "Runway" fix?

Should we be offended that Bravo isn't trying harder to conceal the fact that its newest competition show "Fashion Show" is basically the designer knockoff to its now ex-flagship "Project Runway?" The show, slated to premiere tonight, pits aspiring fashion designers against each other for the chance to break out in the fashion world with hosts Kelly Rowland (of Destiny's Child fame -- we kid you not) and designer Isaac Mizrahi as the Heidi Klum/Tim Gunn duo in charge.

But Bravo insists that "Fashion Show" isn't just "Runway" lite. The show will feature a short challenge at the beginning of each episode, much like the quickfire challenges in "Top Chef," and a live studio audience will weigh in on each judging decision. With "Project Runway" moving to Lifetime and a summer's wait before the first episode airs in August, "Fashion Show" could fill the void of sewing-slash-bitching-slash-Papa-Gunn that we love, but is it a reason to watch or just treason?

"Project Runway" fans Malavika Jagannathan and Sara Boyd take you down a pro-con list of why you should or shouldn't watch this runway ripoff.

Why You Should Watch

1. Aug. 20 -- the current date for "Project Runway"'s premiere on Lifetime -- seems a lifetime away.
2. Fashion + egos + gays = We're there.
3. The idea of a "Top Chef"-esque quickfire challenge sure whets our appetite.
4. Isaac Mizrahi is like Papa Gunn except more judgmental and cattier-- who doesn't love that?
5. The winning designs each week will be on sale on the Bravo Web site, which means even more audience/fan interaction.

6. The contestants, at least based on bios and a preview, seem similar to the types we've seen on "Runway" before. As long as there's a Christian to every Kenley, we're happy to watch them!

Why You Shouldn't Tune In

1. It's not "Project Runway."
2. Remember the CW show "Stylista?" Yeah, probably not because "PR" ripoffs are never successful.
3. When did Kelly Rowland become a fashion icon? Couldn't they at least get another model-turned-fashionista to play the Heidi role?
4. Everyone knows the public has no fashion sense. Involving a "live studio audience" to weigh in on the judging is a bad call -- who wants to hear what Joe Blow thinks when he's watching the show in coveralls, black socks and flip flops?
5. Mizrahi has been quoted as saying that the show's "drama" separates it from "Project Runway," so this could be like "The Apprentice" with sewing machines.

"Fashion Show" airs tonight at 9 p.m. on Bravo. Watch, then come back and tell us what you think -- are they in or are they out?

-- Malavika Jagannathan, mjaganna@greenbaypressgazette.com and Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com

Commercial Interruption: And the winner is ... The Bald and the Bland

Sometimes there's just too much television for one Channel Surfing blogger to handle. That's when we need a break to sit back, relax and indulge in some friendly back-and-forth (via email of course, we don't actually like to speak to one another in person). For this post, girls rule and boys suck at life. Bloggers Sara Boyd, Malavika Jagannathan and Friend of Channel Surfing/Unofficial Stand-in For Thomas Rozwadowski Kelly McBride are still in shock over the decision to crown Hosea as Top Chef for nothing more than being the best of the bald and the bland. It was a disappointing finish to a season that started out with so much promise from runner-up Stefan Richter, the Finn who everyone thought could win, and a last-minute push from Ole Ostrich Eyes Carla whom we had all written off by the fourth or fifth episode.

Malavika: Cue the banners, the marching band, the parade ... the snoozing ... (I am softly weeping into my curdled souffle as I write this) Now I'm not going to be redundant and ask "what the hell happened?" but, seriously, what the hell happened? How did a dude who skated by with a couple of wins in the middle -- including a team challenge that didn't really include an individual winner -- end up on top other than by simply just being not as bad as the others? And, why, oh why doesn't the final judging take into account past performances? I understand that one bad dish can send you home, but does it make sense to declare someone "Top Chef" when they have not consistently shown their stuff or been on top as the title suggests? It's like getting an A all semester, but finding out your entire grade is based on the final exam that you failed. It just doesn't make sense.

According to the explanation given by Gail Simmons on her blog (see here), once Carla was dismissed as a contender, the judges put each course head-to-head in the battle of the balds. Both Stefan and Hosea were even in the appetizer round, Hosea pulled ahead of Stefan in the first course, Stefan won over judges with his squab in course number two, so it literally hinged on the last course of the night. In her words, Stefan's 1980s-era dessert plate, which I may or may not have seen served at The Olive Garden, "left us wondering if he had given up the fight somewhere along the line." Hosea's dish came out on top, so Hosea got the title. My only question is whether it was fair to compare someone who at least attempted to do a dessert, albeit not the best one, to someone who clearly played it safe knowing a dessert would probably wreck his chances? Is dessert even necessary to complete a meal or that just our way of traditional thinking about a three-course meal? (I can't remember the last time I could afford a two-course meal, but that's not the point here).

After last night's episode, I forced myself to critically examine the last few seasons. The one redeeming factor to last night's episode is that, as much as I hate to admit it, this isn't the first time a more deserving chef has had to settle for second or third place. As much as I think Stephanie was the right choice to win "Top Chef," Richard was the better chef last season. Marcel was (and still is apparently) a giant monkey ass, but he was a more consistent and creative chef than Ilan, who won season two. Casey, whom we also saw last night, won a slew of challenges back-to-back but was out of the running fairly quickly in the finale on a few mistakes. The Blaisanator -- last night's Top Sous Chef -- wrote this in his blog (that hit the nail on the head: "Sometimes, the best team doesn’t win the game."

Speaking of Casey, I have to ask my fellow bloggers -- do we think the darling from Dallas sabotaged Carla's chances?

Kelly: I'd like to defend Carla here, but the bottom line is that dear old Crazy Eyes was in charge. She shouldn't have let anyone, much less a previous non-winning sous chef, call the shots in her kitchen. Even though I picked Stefan to win, I had high hopes for Carla going into the finale. But she needed to stay true to her style and who she is as a chef, and it was on those counts that she failed to deliver. One can definitely argue that Casey should have kept her yap shut, but ultimately it's Carla's fate that's at stake. She should have trusted her instincts and cooked what she wanted, the way she wanted.

Carla's immediate removal from consideration for the top prize was just one element of last night's snoozefest. Many thanks to MJ for helping us tap into the collective Judges' Table psyche, but I simply don't buy their logic. Stefan, for all his baby makin' jerkfaceness, is hands down the better chef. Yes, the dessert was a bit of a disaster, but how can that one dish -- albeit an important one -- put the nail in Stefan's culinary coffin? The salty Finn was less consistent dish-to-dish, but still turned in a strong performance and didn't play it safe. And what of the alligator meat?! Who but a true "Top Chef" could take this exotic ingredient he's never cooked with and astound the judges the way he did? I can only imagine how Hosea would have fared, had the tables been turned.

There were precious few highlights to last night's anticlimactic finale. I was pumped to see the Blaisanator and of course our boy Fabio, and it was good to see Gail back in the mix (Lots of Gail. That dress had quite the neckline). Carla was out of the running but the more I see of this woman (crazy eyes and all), the more I like her. And Stefan's unexpected words of comfort for our third-place chef were sweet, if a little odd.

I'm also wondering, were we all let down -- at least in part - by the lack of someone like Lisa, the season 4 villain we loved to hate?

Sara: Apparently I must've been watching the wrong show last night. Here I thought I turned on "Top Chef" but instead, it appeared to be "Lucky Chef" that I was watching. Again, what the funkhouser, "TC?" Hosea?! Really? I mean, yes, Stefan toots his own horn more than, er, Louis Armstrong? (My knowledge of horn musicians is a bit lacking ... ) but point is, he's a talented chef and has the most talent of either Carla or Hosea. And yes, I know the judges have to look at it on a per challenge basis but c'mon ... the man won challenge after challenge. We dubbed him unstoppable! Talk about an anti-climatic finale. Even without Hosea's woop-de-doo win, I think I still would've been disappointed. It just didn't feel like a finale. There wasn't enough oomph or excitement and the "twist" was a half-spin at best.

Carla the Choke went down in flames and yes, I do feel bad for her but in the end she didn't go with her instincts and let someone else run the show. Hosea played it safe and made an appetizer and three middle dishes. He admitted there was no way he was going to risk doing a dessert because -- well, he knows he can't. And the point was made -- a very valid point -- a TOP chef should be able to do dessert. Then again, you'd think a top chef would be one who, oh, I don't know, is consistently on top? Perhaps, as Malavika and Blaiser point out, perhaps we've been thinking all wrong and really, this is "Almost Top Chef." Also, I think Fabs' comment (p.s. I can't believe he led us astray in the interview! He knew the winner ... darn that Italian Stallion) really swayed the judges' decision. Way to throw Team Euro under the bus! And speaking of the judges, someone should tell Miss Gail to put a cardigan over those clam shells. This isn't "Top Shelf," Gail.

As for Kelly's point, I would argue Hosea nearly became a She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Suckface villian. He makes out with Skanky-fish Leah, wants us to feel bad for him, focused all his time on taking down Stefan and wore that damn "I heart Padma" shirt every single day. Throw a bandana on that baldy and he's on his way. I think everyone was sick of Hosea by the end. He started out as an interesting competitor but then followed his pecker to near disaster and never fully regained himself. He became obsessed with beating Stefan or having a leg-up on the guy that I think he lost sight of the true competition. And the fact that he was so intimidated by Stefan -- you'd think that'd be just one more reason Stefan should've been "Top Chef." Hosea sure thought he was.

It's a little sad that this was the way "Top Chef" chose to send us off into a non-"TC" world. One can only hope next week's reunion will give us the closure we're desperately looking for.

Oh yeah, and Livin' La Vida Dusty correctly ranked his picks and beat the snot out of the rest of us. Way to go, Dusty! Now burn in hell for choosing Hosea to win. I mean, congratulations.

Catch the reunion special at 9 p.m. next Wednesday on Bravo.

(In an effort to leave you on a happy note: Check out this crazy picture of Tom Colicchio with hair!)

UPDATE: This just in ... Looks like Carla's little sous chef Miss Casey has been riding the resentful train. She tells SideDish all about how she "carried" Carla and how she's putting "Top Chef" on her do not call list.

Here's her response:

"Carla was not prepared and in over her head. The show did not talk about how the first course (crab) took her half of the friggin’ cooking time that day, I was left to work the rest of HER dishes.

She also did not have a plan. The ONLY thing she had in mind was a cheese course! I would NEVER do a cheese course. And where in the hell did french come from!? She is not even classically trained! It (the show) didn’t talk about how I worked on a sauce for 2 days and Carla forgot to put it on the plate… It didn’t show how the 2nd course (fish) was MINE. It didn’t show how she took the sous vide idea and decided to GRILL it last minute causing it to be tough… And it didn’t show how she WANTED to do the souffles which she does not even know how to make! That was HER food, because it certainly was me asking her how she wanted to do this and that while she was busy picking crab the entire time and making a souffle that didn’t rise!

I am done with TC. I did not influence her. She has NO ideas of her own, oh, except a cheese course."

Bitter, party of one, your table is now ready.

-- Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com, Malavika Jagannathan, mjaganna@greenbaypressgazette.com and Kelly McBride, kmcbride@greenbaypressgazette.com

Commercial Interruption: "Eeeeeet's-a Top Chef, not-a Top Shcallops!"

Sometimes there's just too much television for one Channel Surfing blogger to handle. That's when we need a break to sit back, relax and indulge in some friendly back-and-forth (via email of course, we don't actually like to speak to one another in person). Finally, the long, LONG wait -- OK, only two weeks, but still -- for "Top Chef's" return is over. The contestants, after being spared for the holidays, er, mid-July realistically, returned to the kitchen with one goal: Wow the judges. While it seemed like a simple enough request, Channel Surfing bloggers Sara Boyd, Thomas Rozwadowski, Adam Reinhard and Malavika Jagannathan are less than impressed. But hey, at least some of us got points in this week's power rankings! Ahh, the silver lining.

And by some of us, clearly, I do not mean me. I refuse to accept that Ariane is here to stay. (*Sigh*)

Sara: While having "Eeeeeet's-a Top Chef, not-a Top Shcallops!" back in my life is a great feeling, I can't help but be quite disappointed by this week's episode. The challenge was plain and simple and should've boasted of amazing dishes -- make a meal that showcases you as a chef, no limits, no rules, just make good food.

Here's what we got: tuna tacos (um, can we get any more genital euphemisms in one dish?), a nasty whole red snapper -- with attached head and eyeballs -- and scallops galore! The judges critiqued the dishes using phrases like, "tastes like cat food," "I've found the weapons of mass destruction" and "it's like Tom Cruise's cameo in 'Tropic Thunder.' "

OK, I honestly don't even know what that last one is supposed to mean -- point being, this challenge shouldn't have evoked some of the judges' harshest comments. Papa Colicchio warned the chefs -- the food they're making just ain't cutting it. They needed to prove themselves. Personally, I'm still waiting. If it wasn't for Fabio being just too darn entertaining, for Chrissakes, I would rule the episode a complete anticlimactic failure -- blind taste testing, a chance to critique the other contestants, the need to impress new judge Toby "I make movie analogies out the yin-yang" Young? This should've been the most interesting episode yet. No fault to "TC" producers -- they tried their best. Too bad the contestants didn't follow suit.

However, for some reason, I really want a Diet Dr. Pepper ... I hear there's nothing diet about it.

Malavika: For Chrissakes, eets a me-a Faabio. And ai theeenk thaat Saaara's comments are molto bueno. Theees eees a-top chef, but where aaare the chefs? All I see are schallops! OK, it's really difficult to write more than a few sentences in Faaabio-speak, so I'll go back to "Eeenglish" for a moment. I'm not as disappointed with the episode because I thought the twists -- blind judging and peer judging -- gave the episode a unique spin.

The double elimination at the end made up for last episode's holiday spirit crap. And, well, the producers have figured out that they just need to put Fabio on the camera to explain the most mundane detail because eeets-a hilarious. From a food standpoint, though, it was -- well, to borrow a technique from new judge Toby Young -- it was like the first 25 minutes of "Saving Private Ryan" without the Nazis and the rest of the movie. Just painful to watch. As a vegetarian, I don't really hold the love for the seafood in general, but witnessing the overuse of shcalllopps by both Jamie and Carla plus the whole head of a fish made me slightly queasy. Like I was watching "Speed 2: Cruise Control" queasy. Is it just me or do the contestants seem to produce better food in the quickfire challenges?

Adam: It was queasiness all around for me last night: Whether it was the sight of Gene's snappers fried whole and staring up dead-eyed from the plate; Stefan's "I Make Good Babies" t-shirt (why are you hitting on the lesbian all the time then?); the whiplash I encountered from new judge Toby Young's bewildering cinematic references; or the we're-watching-them-watching-themselves weirdness that occurred when Team A got to peek at Team B eat their food on a kitchen monitor. Oh, and Ariane's combination of cauliflower puree and pineapple chunks...URP. I just threw up a little in my mouth thinking about it.

The best part, as Malavika pointed about -- at least, the part with the best-looking food -- was the Quickfire. And I'm not just saying that because I'm partial to desserts. It seems to me these cooks do better with tighter time constraints. When they get hours and hours to prep, they seem to over think things (Gene, you know I'm talking about you. So long, you crazy bastard) and come up with sub par dishes. But when they have 45 minutes to whip something up, they're focused, determined, and their food overall comes together better. Any thoughts?

Thomas: I'm just grateful that Fabio lives to deliver some more witty banter. The harbinger of doom that was his undercooked lamb really had me worried until the judges raved about his pasta. It reminded me of that scene in "Cliffhanger" where Sly Stallone is getting repeatedly kicked around by Michael Rooker. You keep thinking to yourself, "Good god, this man is done!" But no, Sly rises to the challenge, defeats the evil mercenary, and all is good in the world again.

I think the pressure of elimination is where you separate the pretenders from the contenders. I mean, let's give Leah some credit for making a dish that she's never made before -- and at least goin' out guns blazin', if need be -- instead of taking Melissa Lee Roth's lazy route and whipping up something boring and simple for the sake of safety. Gene's risk taking, as the judges pointed out, was also admirable. Our fallen gangsta homie just never had the chops. It reminds me of "Happy Gilmore" and how Adam Sandler was unable to hone his creativity in a way that adapted to the subtle intricacies of golf's short game.

Also, I'm done hating on Ariane. I thought this anything-goes challenge would expose her limitations, but she made it to the Top 3 and impressed the overly critical-snooty French judge. My new found admiration for her endurance reminds me of the underdog Cleveland Indians in "Major League" and how nobody gave those sad sacks a chance until it was too late to recognize. Or remember in "Can't Buy Me Love" how Ronald Miller is always getting stepped on and ...

OK, I'm done with the bad Toby Young-esque movie references. I really did like how the chefs got to play judge for the day. I think they'll learn from that experiment and make better food because of it. Well, maybe not Carla.

Sara: Another "Can't Buy Me Love" reference? Really? That puts your total to four in this blog's history. I bow to your greatness.

And here come the early power ranking scores --
Malavika - 10
Kelly - 10
T-Roz - 6
Adam - 6
ACon - 5
Ms. Q - 5
Boyd - 0

Yes, I have zero. Let's not rub it in -- the pain of Ariane's continual presence is more than enough punishment.

Catch "Top Chef" 9 p.m. Wednesdays, on Bravo. And don't forget to send us your power rankings for next week's episode!

— Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com ; Malavika Jagannathan, mjaganna@greenbaypressgazette.com ; Adam Reinhard, areinhard@greenbaypressgazette.com; Thomas Rozwadowski, trozwado@greenbaypressgazette.com

"Oh, that one chef, that kind of looks like ... "

The new season of "Top Chef" means new challenges, favorite returning challenges and a heck of a lot of new chefs that are sometimes tough to keep straight.

In the midst of "TC's" second episode, this fact was abundantly clear to Channel Surfing bloggers Sara Boyd and Thomas Rozwadowski. Yes, even we have difficulties remembering who "that one guy with the crazy tattoos who looks like a gang leader" is.

So to help fellow "Top Chef" fans ... here's a sample of the "nicknames" we've given to certain contestants. Because let's be honest, these people could be eliminated next week -- who wants to waste the energy in learning their real names?

Fabio (aka: Ben Affleck ... aka: Luigi)


















The man is a straight up rip-off. With a thick Italian accent from Mario Bros. (He's-a-Fabio! He's-a-gonna-weeeeen!) and "I didn't shave in a week" peach fuzz ala Ben Affleck, we suggest you refer to Fabio as "Luigi Affleck." -- Sara

Jamie (aka: D.J. Tanner from "Full House")


















Clearly, not really young D.J. Tanner, but recent Donna Jo Tanner -- man, it's almost like they're long lost twins! Except one's a rainbow-pride lesbian and one's married to a hockey player. (If you're confused by the scary resemblance, real Jamie is in the middle, Candace Cameron is on the left.) -- Sara

If she calls Gene the Hawaiian Gangsta a "nerd bomber" during this week's episode, I might do a backflip in my living room. -- Thomas

Jeff (aka: John Tesh)



















The only memorable thing about Jeff thus far is that he's apparently in love with his hair. Like, "Top Chef" chose to point that out about him before any mention of his culinary expertise. That makes him a prime candidate for Ryan "Mimbo" status, but we also couldn't help but notice his potential as a young, wispy-haired John Tesh. Though, even if Pretty Jeff somehow manages to win "Top Chef," he'll never top that time the Teshmeister toured with Yanni. -- Thomas

Radhika (aka: Kelly Kapoor from "The Office")



















Argue that I played the "they're both Indian" card all you want -- but with their respective haircuts, they really do look alike! Plus, Kelly Kapoor is easier for me to pronounce. (Yeah, I'm all anti-cultural.) Let's hope for Radhika's sake she doesn't get duped by a Ryan Howard in any challenges. -- Sara

Stefan (aka: Our very own Packers reporter Pete Dougherty)


















This one is a bit of an "Inside" joke (get it, Insider? Har har), but we get to see Press-Gazette Packers beat reporter Pete Dougherty everyday and we're pretty sure he wouldn't mind being compared to the most talented contestant -- well, for two shows, at least -- on "Top Chef." They're both bald. They both like vinaigrette (at least we're assuming Pete does. We didn't actually ask him to endorse this look-a-like nonsense.) And in an odd twist, Stefan actually used some Wisconsin cheese with his hot dog/sausage plate during last week's Quickfire. The man's from Europe! What business does he have using Wisconsin cheese as an ingredient? Freeeeeeeeaky! -- Thomas

Melissa (aka: David Lee Roth)



















Hummalababylasibalaboobalabop!

Melissa seems like a nice enough girl, even if she is kinda dead from the neck up. Cruel of me, I know. But as Boyd pointed out during a "Top Chef" viewing, "If you're on TV, you deserve to be made fun of." A bit "mannish" to be sure, her '80s look might not be so bad if she just did something about those ridiculous bangs. Which is why we can't help but see Melissa as "Just a Gigolo" ala Diamond Dave. Yikes, let's hope she at least ages better than the former Van Halen frontman. -- Thomas

Leah (aka: Vanessa Carlton)



















To be completely honest, I totally thought Vanessa Carlton was Michelle Branch. In fact, I Googled the wrong name first, and the only thing I really know about Carlton is that she used to date that loser from Third Eye Blind. I also thought Leah's name was Jen, so go figure. Anyway, all we've really learned about Leah is that she can only place high in challenges when she's making Italian food. Bottom line: my lack of memory with this comparison isn't a good omen for Leah's culinary skills -- even if you think both subjects are sneaky hot. -- Thomas

Danny (aka: Turtle from "Entourage")


















Before you get any ideas, this is about way more than just being "big-boned" with facial hair. Danny's a clear New Yorker -- Turtle is rooted in Queens. Danny's got that tough exterior but seems like a teddy bear inside -- Turtle, well, that's exactly what Turtle is. Now, if Danny starts wearing matching flat-brimmed hats and shoes then I may have to call up Johnny Drama and tell him to let Turtle fly off with Jamie-Lynn Sigler -- we've got a replacement. Though Johnny probably won't like someone new taking over the kitchen. -- Sara

Carla (aka: Miss Finch from "Follow that Bird" ... aka: freaky ostrich)


















Ahhhh, the best for last. It occurred to me in the previous episode that one Miss Carla -- especially when she gets excited about something -- is one of the scariest looking contestants "Top Chef" has ever had. Her Sideshow Bob hair matched with huuuuuuge bug eyes forces me to shield the TV when she's being interviewed. It got me thinking: the last time I felt this sensation may have been as a youngster watching the all-time classic, "Follow that Bird." When Big Bird flew the coop, it was one, Miss Finch, who brought a similar reaction to my innocent child eyes. Seriously, they share the exact same mannerisms and instill the same fear. It's uncanny. I added in the freaky-looking ostrich because well, throw an afro on that thing and it's a dead ringer. -- Sara

Hopefully, this will provide you with a guide for watching this week's "Top Chef" episode -- or at the very least, give you extremely random references for deciphering each character throughout the show. If all goes as planned, viewers will sit and watch while muttering things like, "Wow, David Lee Roth really overcooked that risotto."

Are there any comparisons we missed? Comment now!

Catch "Top Chef" at 9 p.m. Wednesdays on Bravo.

-- Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com and Thomas Rozwadowski, trozwado@greenbaypressgazette.com

LL Cool J to Kenley: 'Mama Said Knock You Out'

Sometimes there's just too much television for one Channel Surfing blogger to handle.

That's when we need a break to sit back, relax and indulge in some friendly back-and-forth (via email of course, we don't actually like to speak to one another in person). Bloggers Sara Boyd and Malavika Jagannathan discuss "Project Runway" as it nears the end of another blissfully drama-filled season, and try to figure out who the devil Kenley thinks she is and how to teach Tim Gunn to slap a woman.

Sara: One thing's for sure, it's been an interesting final push for Bryant Park. As Fashion Week gets closer and closer, the nails are out, the hair-pulling and teeth-clenching are in full swing and everyone's out to prove they're the best. As we've seen in recent weeks, some contestants may be out to prove they're not only the best, but ruler of the world. OK, I guess just one candidate. Kenley, Kenley, Kenley. The girl has lost her mind and as we saw last night, she may not be able to back up her big mouth as much as we've previously thought.

Wednesday's "PR" brought a runway favorite back -- the designers were to design for ... the other designers. (Cue the drama!) As we've seen in previous years, when the designers are told to make something for each other -- the product can be scary. (Remember when Santino made that awful jumpsuit for Kara? Yikes.) This year's challenge had a bit of a twist. Not only were they told to make something for each other but it must be based off a musical genre. The designers were scared ... and with good reason.

Kenley was given the task of designing a hip-hop look for Leanne. And as a young, 50s-era styling WHITE girl, it was no surprise that she had no idea what she was doing -- but that didn't stop Kenlizzle from talking like she knew exactly what hip-hop style was. Clearly, according to K-to-the-enley, hip-hop means pants up to your boobs, a flowery tank top and a leather jacket too small to fit a life size Barbie. Oh, and lots of tacky gold jewelry. I mean, that's, like, totally hip-hop, right? According to Mr. LL Cool J (Yes, the ladies still love cool James ... ) -- no, definitely not.

Even Tim Gunn tried to warn her -- telling her this clearly wasn't hip-hop and you can't make that work. Alas, our favorite gay man was given tons of 'tude as she swiftly ignored his comments.

MJ, just how hideous was Kenley's hip-hop outfit? Do you think that should've been enough to send her packing? And can we please discuss the serious disrespect paid to our Papa Gunn?

Malavika: Forget hip-hop, Kenley's outfit was definitely something Carol Burnett would have worn back in, yeah, you guessed it, the 1950s. High-waisted jeans and "bling" do not a hip-hop outfit make in ANY era.

I love retro style as much as the next gal, but, seriously, KENLEY NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. Even Rami the Draper from last season was able to move past his crutch, and, most importantly, he did not mouth off to the judges when they pointed out his propensity to make the same dress every week. Kenley's attitude coupled with her utter disrespect for the challenges (and Papa Gunn) should have gotten her auf-fed a few weeks back. If nothing else, it should have sealed her fate in last night's pathetic showing.

Kenley is slowly shaping up to be Project Runway's version of She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named from another favorite Bravo show. I'm beginning to have deja vu -- where have I seen this defensiveness and downright rudeness before? Oh, wait, is your name Lisa (*shudder*) and do you suck the life out of everything around you? And is it possible that producers are keeping you around for drama purposes?

Her serious attitude problems had me wishing that it was her -- and not third-person lovin' Suede -- who had gone home. What do you think Sara -- should we call her Lisa or is that going too far?

Sara: I think it's very accurate to say Kenley possesses a number of "She-Devil-Lisa" qualities but I think it's a different kind of disgust this time around. Sure, everyone knew there was no way Lisa should've made it to the finals of "Top Chef" but there she was, crossed-armed and all, for the viewing audience to hurl rotten tomatoes at. With Kenley, I feel like I've been double-wronged. Mostly because I started off liking her, and hip-hop disaster aside, I still think she can produce very wearable garments.

So it's the complete disrespect for the judges and the overly cocky attitude that's encompassed my reasons for bringing her to the bottom of my list. I'd argue it's worse than hating Lisa. Lisa sucked, there's no doubt about it -- I wouldn't let her make me a microwavable Lean Cuisine. With Kenley, you know she has the talent and that makes it just that much more of a waste that she insists on being a complete B.

All I know is that the producers better not wrong us again and send Kenley to Fashion Week in the top three. We already had to suffer through a finale of "Top Chef" with a holier-than-thou bottom feeder, we can't handle Kenley starting her runway show -- of ALL 50s-era flower-printed dresses -- by boasting her greatness to the world's most talented designers. How embarrassing! So please, if there's any justice, it needs to be Jerell, Korto and Leanne in the finale.

Moving on, not that I couldn't go on forever about Kenley's suckfest, MJ, what did you think about the other designer's outfits? And what do you think will happen next week?

Malavika: I think I, too, have gotten all my Kenley-related hatred out of the way... NOT.

But moving on.

I thought there were some innovative pieces for a pretty abstract challenge, which gives me hope for the final three of Leanne, Korto and Jerell. (Kenley is persona non grata to me). I like that unlike last season, when winner Christian Siriano was far above the rest, there isn't a clear winner in this bunch. I like Korto's ability to be creative without being ridiculous (bleaching the denim in last night's episode for Suede's punk rock look was a genius move!).

But next week's preview scares me. They're all crying -- how very Ricky of them -- and I can't tell if that's good because Kenley is crying or bad because so are Jerell and Korto. If Kenley isn't gone next week, I will give up on PR. (Readers may recall I made a similar statement with Lisa from "Top Chef" but couldn't stay away).

Or if nothing else, I will never wear a retro-50s dress EVER again.

Catch "Project Runway" at 8 p.m. on Wednesdays on Bravo.

-- Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com and Malavika Jagannathan, mjaganna@greenbaypressgazette.com

Project Arrogance?

Here's my prediction for next week's episode: "This week, on 'Project Runway'... Kenley's head becomes so massive it implodes, spattering a lovely floral print pattern onto her 50s-era dress, currently in progress. All cheer in celebration. Michael Kors poops fabric from excitement."

I think you can see where I'm going here.

This season of "Project Runway" has definitely had its ups and downs, but I don't think anyone could've predicted the eventual tyranny of Lord Kenley -- and last night's episode proved it's only getting worse.

This week's challenge was to give a 20-something college graduate a makeover so they'd have an edge in the real world. (Translation: Make these girls an outfit that's appropriate for coffee fetching and slave work.) Oh, and their nosy and controlling mothers must approve of the outfit as well. Not going to lie, when they initially showed the silhouette of that first Smoker McSmokerson mother, I literally thought it was another Drag Queen challenge. Sorry Mom! But at least it was an honest mistake, unlike Leanne's brutal comment that she didn't want to make "old lady dresses."
So the girls get randomly paired with designers -- Kenley gets her own little minion, Mini-Kenley as she's nicknamed -- and the ideas start flowing. Some, like Jerell and Kenley, get a cooperative group of mother-daughters, while others like Leanne and Joe have a bit of a tougher sell. Kenley starts plans for her typical overused and underwhelming 50s-era dress with -- gasp! -- a patterned print that's not technically floral, but let's be honest, might as well have been. The references to her self-proclaimed awesomeness reaches uber-vomit levels when she discusses how she's "definitely going to be in the Top 3" and meets any and all criticism with a sassy attitude that makes Omarosa look humble. (Next week doesn't appear to be any better as one clip shows Kenley questioning exactly what Tim Gunn knows about fashion ... Wow.)

But alas, the girl can sew and as much as I hate to admit it, I know we'll see her at Bryant Park. The thing that kills me the most is that I started this season a big Kenley fan. I found her designs to be very wearable and her style awesomely vintage. But now, the tides have turned and her gargantuan love of herself has taken her straight to the bottom of my list.

Sure, she can back it up and you could argue that Christian was definitely a fan of himself, but it's different this time around. This time, it's not confidence, it's just arrogance. These designers should be proud of their looks and stand behind them 100 percent, but when you have the perception that you're already the best -- no room for improvement -- where else is there to go but down? She's 25 years old and if she plans on having a long career in fashion, she better get off her sassy high horse and start thanking the Gods of Chanel that she has a chance to get the advice of such brilliant designers, Tim Gunn included.

I wish I could say Kenley's 'tude was the most hideous thing about last night's episode, but unfortunately that title belongs to Suede's Coco Cabana catastrophe. Seriously, what was that? I was honestly shocked that the judges didn't take one look at those puffy, pirate shirt sleeves and say "Auf wiedersehen!" Granted yes, Joe made a suit that looked like it was straight off Melanie Griffith in "Working Girl," but Suede has been awful time after time. Then again, as soon as they showed Joe missing his family and making one last connection with viewers, you almost had to expect he would be "out." And truth be told, it's never a good situation when the girl looked better before her makeover. Still Suede is just buying his time until he's eventually booted off the show. Even Suede must know that it's Suede's time to leave the show, because Suede said Suede was a little nervous about going home. Suede. Suede. Suede.

As long as adorable Jerell and emerging star Leanne (even solid Korto) continue winning challenges, there's still plenty to look forward to before "PR" hits Bryant Park. If there's any God, he'll ensure that Kenley gets the karma she deserves and is sent packing before Fashion Week. I mean, singing your own praises is one thing, but when she burst out laughing during Joe's critique and mention of the "pocket square," it was not only unprofessional but severely damaging to her chances of being taken seriously in the fashion world. And she'd better watch her eye rolling when it's announced that she didn't win.

The challenges that remain for our Top 5 will surely be a chance for the winners to shine and the losers, both evident in talent and personality, will be hitting the road. We'll have to see next week if Tim lays his papa Gunns on Kenley and sends her back to reality. Either way, that's just good TV.

Catch "Project Runway" Wednesdays at 8 p.m. on Bravo.

-- Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com