NBC announces its Fall/Winter TV line up

And it ain't pretty.

Prepping for its fall season, to begin Sept. 8, NBC has announced its fall line-up of crappy, semi-crappy and "we'll have to see if it's as crappy as it sounds" TV shows. Since the line-up, including upcoming new shows, is packed full of way-too-muchery for just one blogger, I've enlisted help from fellow Channel Surfer Malavika Jagannathan to help jab the peacock. Yes, that's what she said.

Sara: Thirsty for comedy Thursday

I think it's best to start with Thursday, because let's be honest, it's NBC's only hope at ratings survival.

Sure, you have your classic shows you knew wouldn't die off -- quite yet anyway. "The Office" appears to be keeping its more recent 8 p.m. time slot, following "My Name is Earl" at 7 p.m. and "30 Rock" at 7:30 p.m. The "Scrubs" time spot, which is rumored to be heading from the peacock to the alphabet (ABC), will be replaced with hour-long episodes of "The Office" until October.

After that, "Saturday Night Live" will go live on Thursday night for prime time election coverage -- I'm thinking a la "Daily Show" or "Colbert Report." Yes, it's confusing, "Saturday Night Live" will be "Saturday Night Live," live on Thursday. Don't think about it too hard, and try to keep up.

Hour-long episodes of "The Office" may not be the best news -- considering the shambled attempt at comedy the show is currently in -- but potential good news is on the way.

NBC has confirmed it will begin an "Office" spin-off -- for now, titled just that "The Office Spin-Off." The premiere will have a lot of pressure on its shoulders as NBC plans to air the new show right after the Super Bowl. Yikes.

Based on the rumors floating around, the show will 1. not have any of the current cast members (though rumors continue that Andy Bernard (Ed Helms) may start up his own hilar office -- to which I say, hell yes!), 2. it will most likely follow the annoying footsteps of "Grey's Anatomy"/"Private Practice" by introducing the spin-off characters during an episode of "The Office" and 3. the spin-off is currently casting for its "big name" to head up the show. Any ideas for who you'd like to see run this office?

"The Office Spin-Off" will air after "The Office" at 8:30 p.m. Thursdays in 2009.

Also, this comment about the spin-off was made on TVGuide.com, where the announcement of #2 came: DON'T DO THIS TO A FABULOUS SHOW THAT HAS NOT HAD A BAD EPISODE YET!!" To which I must say, uh, what show are you watching?!

Sara: Too phat Tuesday

But enough about NBC squashing any hopes and dreams of fresh comedies. Er, wait ... hold that thought.

NBC's Tuesday line-up includes a new show called, "Kath and Kim" starring funny gal Molly Shannon and annoying Selma Blair. The pair is coined to be the "dysfunctional duo in suburbia." Kath (Shannon) and her daughter Kim (Blair) are two "brassy women" who must deal with city life and their reunion as housemates, after Kim left and has now returned back home.

Yes, that sentence had way too many issues. Hold up the gravy train ... Shannon, born in 1964, is supposed to be the mother of Blair, born in 1972? Are you kidding me? That would make Shannon, um, eight when Blair was born. Even Jamie Lynn Spears would frown at that.

The show is based on a popular Australian version of the same name, but it's unclear whether or not it will truly translate to crass, egotistical, shallow American television.

"Kath and Kim" airs at 8:30 p.m. Tuesdays.

Malavika: Second time around

Ever wondered how horrible shows get picked up for a second season? I have unearthed the formula: terrible TV show + bad actors multiplied by the square root of some executive's stupidity.

That explains how "Lipstick Jungle" is back on Wednesdays for more fun and games. Carrie and Co. are crying into their cosmopolitans at this less-than-satisfying ripoff of HBO's epic "Sex and the City." Of the two knockoffs that plagued the airwaves this season, ABC's "Cashmere Mafia" had more spunk and a little less maudlin. Which naturally explains why "Lipstick Jungle" will continue to annoy "SATC" fans for yet another season.

But it's not all bad news. "Life" with the talented (and scrumptious) Damian Lewis of "Band of Brothers" fame is getting another shot on Fridays. Let's hope that NBC does a little better marketing for this understated and sublime show this season. Pitching it as a show "about a cop who was imprisoned wrongly for a crime" doesn't even begin to get at it. With its first season cut short by the writers strike, I'm happy to see "Life" return for a hopefully full season.

Check out the full NBC schedule to check out the complete line-up plus the ridiculous upcoming new shows (that really, there's just not enough time in the world to rip apart completely and sufficiently).

-- Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com and Malavika Jagannathan, mjaganna@greenbaypressgazette.com.