Question: Who's laughing now?
The mockery could not go unanswered, but we figured we'd take the high road. Instead of responding with a vitriolic blog post dissecting Tom's unnatural affection for, say, Kristin Chenoweth on "Pushing Daisies," we let Jim's genius do the work for us. In three seasons of "The Office," Jim has plagued fellow co-worker Dwight with pranks that stand the test of time. They range from the simple - suspending Dwight's possessions in Jello - to the complex - convincing Dwight that he is being courted by the C.I.A.
But the success of Jim's pranks all hinge on one factor - a factor we believe Tom shares with Dwight - and that's just plain old underestimation. Plus, he clearly deserves it.
10:25 a.m. Tom discovers that his Press-Gazette ID badge has been suspended in cherry Jello. His name has been replaced by the word "fart" in an obvious homage to two separate pranks that Jim plays on Dwight (putting his stapler in Jello and changing his security ID badge* to say that Dwight's middle name is "fart"). His response? "Well played" then later "Want some Jello? There's plenty to go around." Thanks for the compliment, but this is only the beginning ...
(*It should also be noted that once Mr. Rozwadowski removes his ID badge, he will notice he has been labeled a security threat.)
11 a.m. People have begun referring to Tom as Tim. It's a subtle reference to the time Jim paid $5 to his coworkers to call Dwight "Dwayne." We didn't pay anyone. So far, three co-workers have referenced him as Tim. His response? "I'm wise to your Tim experiment as well...Good effort, though." Pshaw. Good effort? Just you wait, Tim. Just you wait.
12 :27 p.m. Tom has been delivered a fax from the receptionist from none other than Future Tom. It reads:
At 9 a.m. today, someone poisons the Mountain Dew.
Do NOT drink the Mountain Dew.
More instructions to follow.
We can only hope that in similar fashion from the show, Tom will rush down to the break room and slap a bottle of MD out of the hands of a co-worker, much like Dwight "heroically saved" Stanley from a comparable fate from poisoned coffee.
Alas, his response is vague and lame: "I got your poisonous Mountain Dew memo." Thanks, Captain Obvious.
12:40 p.m. Malavika begins conversing with Tim - er - Tom about the fact that today is Friday, not Thursday, channeling the time Jim and Pam made Dwight think that. Here's the transcript of our actual conversation:
Malavika: I thought you were off today btw
Tom: Nope, tomorrow
Malavika: Oh weird. But we switched days remember? I'm off tomorrow
Tom: Yep. I thought you took off Monday. Do you think today is Friday?
Tom: Quit confusing me, jack---*
Malavika : No dude, I'm off tomorrow bc we switched days
Malavika : I'm working Sunday, right?
*comment has been edited for content
12:52 p.m. Continued efforts to make Tim, er, Fart, er, Tom think today is in fact Friday, not Thursday, seem to have upset our victim. Perhaps someone needs some Andy Bernard anger management. Read as follows:
From: Boyd, Sara
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 12:49 PM
To: Rozwadowski, Tom
Subject: RE: blogger ...
Is blogger working yet? I was kind of hoping to post reactions from 30 Rock and The Office last night, but looks like it might have to be a day late? Or should we just post it sans pictures for now?
Let me know if you notice it comes back in action.
From: Rozwadowski, Tom
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 12:52 PM
To: Boyd, Sara
Subject: RE: blogger ...
I hate you.
1:10 p.m. Being the subject of pranks is not going over well with Tim - er - Tom. He's refusing to leave his desk ("if you're gonna do something to me, it's going to have to be at my desk... i will not stand for it!"). Very Dwight-like response. We almost expect him to start cancelling his credit cards any second now.
1:22 p.m. Paranoia has set in. Efforts to get Mr. Rozwadowski away from his desk are met with a "um, considering I don't trust you anymore today, I'll have to pass ... that and I don't have all of Jim's pranks memorized." For shame.
5:40 p.m. The day is complete. All of Tom's pens have been replaced with crayons.
Thank you to all our coworkers who lent a hand. We couldn't have done it without you. A special thank you to Jim Halpert from "The Office" who inspired us to go beyond pettiness and aim for greatness. P.S. -- we're here for you, if you ever break it off with Pam.
Don't forget to watch "The Office" on NBC at 8 p.m.
-- Sara Boyd, firstname.lastname@example.org and Malavika Jagannathan, email@example.com