Sincerest apologies, readers: MTV has officially hijacked the blog.

First things first: When Channel Surfing inked Sara Boyd to a lucrative writing contract -- and by that, we really mean the prestigious opportunity to use shorthands like "Gaysian" and "D-Bag" as often as she wants -- we knew she was big into "crappy TV." We just didn't realize that her remote was permanently frozen on MTV.

But that's cool, because she was at least kind enough to leave the "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" ruminations to me -- except that I quit caring (and stopped writing) about the show after a continuous string of boring beatdowns by the Veteran team. My inbox didn't get full afterwards, so here's guessing no one really cared about the abrupt cancellation. I feel the love, readers. I feel the love.

However, a funny thing happened during the seemingly one-sided season finale last week -- traditionally the most anti-climactic part of the show. The Rookies -- bruised, battered, deflated and dejected -- pulled off a major upset due to a slight technicality in the form of a Veteran competitor almost, um, dying (see stretcher photo above). Fat Eric, who I long thought would either pass out from alcohol poisoning or the physical strain of brushing his teeth in the morning, actually did turn pasty white and start gasping for air on the ground, forcing paramedics to intervene and drag him off the Challenge course. That left the Vets with no choice but to forfeit -- except they didn't actually pay attention to the rules and decided to finish the race anyways, leading to some genuine amazement when they weren't awarded one of those cool, giant checks with tons of zeroes on it. Yikes. Even Bill Belichick was less surprised when he saw dopey-looking Eli Manning walking to the podium to hoist the Lombardi Trophy in the air during the Super Bowl.

But that's old news.

In what's now a regularly scheduled occurrence, reality shows can't help but drag everyone through the muck one more time for a "let's keeping stirring the pot" reunion show. And like O.J. Simpson's latest girlfriend, I keep begging to be punished. So what happened last night and could potentially get me excited for yet another "RW/RR" excursion?

* No Loose Cannon CT. Bummer. Apparently he's no longer hooking up with Diem, which means a restraining order is probably involved and all that gooey-ness about how "hot" CT looked with his head shaved (shades of Travis Bickle from "Taxi Driver" anyone?) couldn't make up for the fact that he's a COMPLETE PSYCHO who might want to pick up an AA pamphlet sometime soon.

* No Adam either. After getting punked by CT with the ol' "beer poured over the head while drunk" routine, pint-sized Adam regained his manhood by killing Roid Rage Danny in the show's final Gauntlet challenge -- the testosterone-fueled Ball Brawl. It would have been nice to see some props tossed his way for disposing of one of the Challenge's all-time biggest meatheads in truly dominating fashion. Dude was like Barry Sanders out there.

* Hey, didn't Witch Nose Coral storm off the show like a whiny five-year-old in the middle of the season? Ah, but there she is in the front row, shouting F-bomb after F-bomb because she just can't stand life without a camera in her face. Truth be told, I think Coral is hilarious, and not only because she uttered the phrase "grow some gonads" on TV last night. But here's the thing: I still expect my reality TV to be somewhat principled. And if Coral was going to walk off in a huff and make a big deal about being betrayed by people she thought were her "friends," the noble thing would be to never appear on a show with those phonies again. However, it appears that Coral's entire identity is tied to her role as "Real World Coral" which makes having -- oh, I don't know -- PRIDE, a moot point. Wait, am I psycho-analyzing a reality TV game show? On MTV? God, I need help.

* Fat Eric is called out for having the audacity to almost die on his team, costing them all $30,000 a piece. As Bipolar Katie, one of his lone defenders, points out, "$30,000? That's what waitresses make." Hey, same for Channel Surfing TV bloggers! Man, now I feel even dirtier ...

So while Brad was the only cast member who actually cared about his well-being during the final challenge, it appears some are questioning why Eric showed up at the "Gauntlet" wrap party three hours later with a beer in his hand. Um ... awkward! Eric doesn't have a good explanation, but having watched the gruesome finale (picture a man clutching for his last breath while his selfish peers are arguing about whether they can drag him to the finish line and get their pay day), I can safely say that the dude was about to swallow his own tongue. Still ... you have to milk that pain and suffering a little longer than three hours, Eric! Even Paris Hilton knows not to drive with a revoked license three hours after getting released from the clink.

* Brad is given kudos for being a decent guy on the challenge -- which means he was the only Veteran contestant who put a person's health ahead of banking $30,000 to be spent on Jell-o shots and ankle tattoos. Gold star for you, Brad! Good luck with your newly started insurance company. No, seriously. I like the guy. I'm not being sarcastic. (You think I'm being sarcastic.)

* Finally, Kenny Venci makes a few wisecracks and the shows wraps up. Hmmm ... so not only did I waste an hour watching the reunion, but I just blogged about it for 20 minutes.

I think I'm going to start reading books again.

-- Thomas Rozwadowski, trozwado@greenbaypressgazette.com