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Thursday, March 27, 2008

It's almost April: Do you know where your episode recaps are?

It's been about three months, give or take, since many of my favorite shows came to an abrupt halt. This happens every year, of course: It's called "summer." But when it happens as the result of a writers strike and spans the entire bleak abyss of winter, it's called "torture." (Don't talk to me about water boarding -- going this long without Pam Beasley is a real violation of the Geneva Conventions.)

Luckily, the wait is almost over. Many of TV's top shows will soon be stumbling back into our homes, like a drunken husband after an extended Vegas bachelor party. In fact, for fans of "How I Met Your Mother," their long journey through the desert reached its end last week. (And surprise! Britney Spears was there waiting!)

While they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, it apparently turns the brain to Jell-O, because I would be hard-pressed to tell you much of anything that happened on the last-aired episode of any given series, such as, say, "Scrubs." (If I had to venture a guess, I'd say J.D. made a funny noise and fell down, while Elliot screeched and also fell down.) But why guess when there are handy-dandy sites like The Recapist and Television Without Pity that recap each episode to every TV show, in waaaay more detail that you could possibly need?

Here then are 8 brief recaps to the last-aired episode of some of TV's most popular shows, as well as when you can expect to see them again.

(Note: I don't actually watch all of these shows, and got the information for these recaps from the aforementioned websites. Therefore feel free to yell at me if anything is incorrect.)

"30 Rock" (April 10)
We last saw the gang from "TGS With Tracy Jordan" in mid-January. Liz fails spectacularly in buying a condo, but succeeds (accidentally) in purchasing a German television station as Jack's proxy. Speaking of Jack, he's spending more and more time with his girlfriend, a Liberal congresswoman, and shirking his work duties. Kenneth, meanwhile, becomes dangerously addicted to coffee and decides to move home to avoid further temptation. In the end, Jack and his lady friend have called it quits, Kenneth misses his midnight train to Georgia, and NBC narrowly avoids getting taken over by Germans.

"Brothers and Sisters" (April 20)
Those Boniva ads not satiating your Sally Field fix? Then recall how when we last saw the Walker family in February, presidential candidate Robert (Rob Lowe), recently married to Kitty, had scored a big Super Tuesday victory. (Take that, Martin Sheen!) Meanwhile, Sarah's divorce is near its end, so what's the first thing she does? Karaoke at a gay bar, of course. Lucky for her, Graham shows up and whisks her off to his boudoir.

"Desperate Housewives" (April 13)
Something big happened on this show a while ago, no? I'm trying to remember... Oh, that's right: Wisteria Lane was hit by A HUGE, WHIRLING PLOT DEVICE. The most recent events on the megahit ABC series dealt with the deadly tornado that cast the Hizzies' world in a tizzy. Ida has died saving Lynette's family, and Adam leaves Katherine (or did Katherine kick him out?) after the also-now-dead Sylvia was found in a tree. Bree's brood moves in with Susan, and Gaby is in a pickle after learning she's getting nothing from Victor's estate.

"Gossip Girl" (April 21)
Like, I'm not one to spread rumors, but on the last episode of this CW show, way back in, like, January or whatever, Serena was totally spotted buying a PREGNANCY TEST. OMG! But it wasn't even for her -- she was buying it for Blair! Honest to blog, Dan's sister Jenny told me. Turns out Blair had been getting it on with both Nate AND Chuck, and they totally started wailing on each. Serves Blair right that no one wants to talk to her now.

"Grey's Anatomy" (April 24)
For those keeping score, at the start of "Grey's" previous episode, Meredith and McDreamy are in the "on-again" position. So much so, that McD shows Meredith a house he plans to buy -- wait for it -- for the two of them. Meredith freaks out of course, because if she were happy for even a minute, the show would be over. Looks like we're back at "off-again." Meanwhile, something actually important happens, as Bailey's infant son is crushed by a falling bookcase, and the docs rally to help save him. Also, Mrs. O'Malley finds out why George is getting a divorce. You naughty girl, Izzie.

"House" (April 21)
Amidst all the usual Patient of the Week mumbo-jumbo of our last encounter with House, M.D. -- this time involving a bride who passes out during her wedding -- there is some tricky relationship problems for the curmudgeonly doc to diagnose. His best friend, Wilson, is dating Amber, the "cutthroat bitch" as House calls her. House confronts the harpie, convinced she'll end up hurting Wilson. But she is able to persuade him that she truly likes the guy, and House ends up telling his friend that he could do worse.

"The Office" (April 10)
By the time our Dunder-Mifflin crew get back to work, they will have been gone nearly five months. Now that's a nice vacation. In the last episode, which aired Nov. 15, Michael and Jan are headed to the corporate offices for a deposition hearing concerning Jan's wrongful termination lawsuit. Michael has been called as a witness, and through a series of embarrassing turns involving his sexual relationship with Jan, his diary, and a disparaging written job evaluation from the CEO, Michael ends up losing Jan $4 million. Meanwhile, back in Scranton, Jim and Darryl are enjoying a friendly game of ping pong, which escalates when Kelly, who is dating Darryl, begins trash-talking Pam, who is dating ... oh, you know.

"Ugly Betty" (April 24)
I'm having trouble remembering back to late January -- did anything wacky happen on the last "Ugly Betty"? What am I talking about -- it's "Ugly Betty." Anyway, when we last left our homely heroine, she was trying to make it as a writer, but to little success. She's given a shot at an interview with an author of a book aimed at helping men, what's the word, score. Betty is disgusted, but gives the article an objective try, and ends up succeeding. Daniel is having his own woman troubles, as his mother won't move out, and a girl he almost hooked up with turned out to be -- gasp! -- Wilhelmina's sister!? Or is she...

Did I leave out one of your favorites? Go ahead and leave a brief recap of your own in our Comments section. And be sure to check back with Channel Surfing for any updates on air times.

-- Adam Reinhard, lifeisfunnybutnothahafunny@gmail.com

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4 Comments:

Sadly, the Office recap made me remember exactly why I'm not excited for the show's return. The writing so pales in comparison to seasons 1 & 2, it actually pains me to think about. This is a show I literally lived for ... excuse me, I need a tissue.

By Anonymous Anonymous, At March 27, 2008 at 8:43 AM  

I must disagree. I'd rather live in a mediocre world with the Office than in a world without Dwight, Jim etc. It's been a bleak and meager existence these past few months.

Also, I'd like to add to your "Gossip Girl" recap that TV Guide is reporting that the BIG SHOCKING REVELATION in the rest of the season is that one of the three leading males is - GASP - coming out of the closet.

By Blogger strandedtexan, At March 27, 2008 at 9:47 AM  

As I'm sure you can tell from my comments, I'm super-critical (just ask Tom!) and prefer quality over quantity. I'd rather enjoy one or two seasons of an exceptional show than see it run into the ground while only getting maybe one good laugh per episode. The show's not quite there yet, but I disagree with most of the ways the characters on the Office have evolved - especially JAN. Could we kill the Michael/Jan storyline please?

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