400 posts later, Channel Surfing Enters Dreaded Sophomore Season
Just one look at the cancellations this year of a number of second season mishaps is enough to prove why TV execs dread the sophomore year of any show. Even bright and promising shows can tank in year two, when writers and producers -- so giddy their show has been picked up for another year -- forget the formula that brought them there in the first place (ahem "Heroes" ahem) and replace it with mediocre blahness.
Not all TV shows are susceptible to the second-season syndrome. Some -- most notably "Friends" and "Sex and the City" -- actually made up for the tragic schmaltz of their first seasons (taking out the whole Carrie-talks-into-the-camera-a-la-Zack-Morris bit, for example, made "SATC" actually watchable). Other second seasons actually stand out as the best of the bunch -- the quotable second season of "The Office," "The Sopranos," Buffy The Vampire Slayer" and "The West Wing."
Four hundred and some odd posts ago, our forefathers came to this nation... er... we launched this blog. On Nov. 11, 2007, "Channel Surfing" was born in the middle of a writers' strike. Our very own writers' strike -- coupled with our laziness -- is responsible for the month-long delay in this anniversary post where we muse on the possibilities for our second season, using the various gimmicks we've previously witnessed on the small screen with a few twists of our own.
The Flashback Episode
Malavika: The gang -- all suffering from the same bout of short-term amnesia -- forget their greasy Chinese leftovers in the office fridge. Coincidentally, they choose the day and time of the building-wide electrical upgrade, leaving them stranded in the conference room with nothing but white boards, markers and day-old lo mein to keep them from killing each other. (Also this explains their love for "Top Chef").
An epic game of "truth or dare" emerges as the best option to while away the time (over Adam's suggestion of a Lord of the Flies-esque pig roast that is immediately dismissed as lame) -- but there's one catch. The "truths" have to be things they've never revealed before. Genius! Meanwhile, the gang also has to prevent Sara from accidentally ingesting whiteboard markers, which her hunger-related delirium makes her believe are actually breadsticks.
The results are shocking as each character reveals a past. Tom apparently spent five years on the street as a hobo named "Ed," who got his big break designing Packers memorabilia from aluminium cans. Kendra was once known as the queen of international jig dancing, but had to give up her crown after a judging scandal (blame the East Germans). Sara may or may not have accidentally engineered a coup in an undisclosed Asian nation (no fault of her own -- someone mistook her for the Dalai Lama). Adam was a stand-up comedian, who lost his chops when an audience member's pet monkey attacked him during a set (he still has nightmares). Malavika was a 80s child star discovered on "Star Search," but had to change her name and abandon her promising career for IRS tax evasion reasons.
But the biggest reveal is the ending... turns out the whole thing was just a fantastical dream in the head of a hobo named "Ed," who had just feasted on some leftover Chinese food and was sleeping next to a snowglobe with the Press-Gazette building in it.
Unexpected Romance?
Sara: On a later deadline than usual, it was a scarce newsroom when catastrophe hits and Thomas and Adam find themselves bustin' booty to try and save Channel Surfing from a nasty virus that threatens to delete every post ever published. No more witty rants about "Top Chef's" Lisa. No more long, boring analysis of "Lost." Nothing.
Panic ensues as the two work to stop the virus before all is lost. As Roz fiercely types html code, Adam looks over his shoulder yelling, "Close tag! a href! a href!" Soon, the tension begins to boil over. Adam reaches out in an effort to right click, then stops, as his large man hand gently graces T-Roz's small Asian fingers. The two lock eyes. Adam brushes a stray piece of hair from Tom's face. Suddenly, Malavika shows up, as she had forgotten her notes from the Village of Suamico's budget meeting and needed them to help her fall asleep that night.
Afraid they've just been caught making goo-goo eyes at each other, Thomas plays it off and says the two were working on an intense "Pushing Daisies" post that required "soul searching." MJ buys their lie and scampers off, thinking nothing of it. The two breathe a sigh of relief, update the computer's Norton Anti-Virus and head home. The rest of the season, the newly sparked couple play a coy game of "will-they-won't-they" in the way of eye contact and facial expressions.
The time travel plot arc
Thomas: Unable to capture any real sense of mystery during Channel Surfing’s first year, the rest of the blogging crew places Thomas Rozwadowski’s beloved iPod in the middle of Walnut Street with the hope that he’ll get hit by a car and experience “Life on Mars”-style/coma-induced time travel while trying to retrieve it. This wacky new time-bending convention should also make up for the disastrous March addition of Sara Boyd, who readers found to be more annoying than Cousin Oliver on "The Brady Bunch."
Amazingly, the car crash hunch works, though Malavika, in all her evil glory, replaces David Bowie with Donny Osmond as the soundtrack to Thomas’ "flashback" at the moment of impact. Now in a 1973 Press-Gazette newsroom, the intrepid journalist has to figure out how to use a typewriter and can’t rely on Google to get his news, though he's also relieved to discover that no one knows who Brett Favre is and he'll never have to read another news blurb about how he sneezed or put a decapitated moose head in someone’s locker.
This whole "blog" mumbo-jumbo also draws raised eyebrows from co-workers who are too busy chain smoking and curling their thick 70s era porn mustaches to care. Plus, with personal computers more than a decade away, there’s no way to communicate any of Thomas’ witty banter, anyway.
Instead, he resigns himself to watching the Watergate hearings – it’s better than “The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour” – when suddenly H.R. Haldeman adopts Adam Reinhard’s voice and tells him that the Channel Surfing blog is in danger because of Gannett cutbacks and his genius is needed in 2008.
Is he really in 1973? Is he in a hospital bed dreaming all of this? Thomas must determine what’s real and imaginary, and ultimately, whether 2008 trumps 1973. After all, a zany sitcom idea about a guy tricking his landlord into thinking he’s gay so he can live with two gorgeous women is still four years away ... and might just be the golden ticket he’s been searching for.
Super special sweeps week guest stars! Adam: 1) Having learned of the Channel Surfers’ venomous, but justified, lambasting of her cooking, personality, and ass face, "Top Chef" also-ran and water buffalo look-a-like Lisa Fernandes storms into the Press-Gazette newsroom, thirsting for revenge. She challenges the gang to a cook-off, to be judged by "Top Chef" host Tom Colicchio, the Foo Fighters, and President-elect Barack Obama. The catch is they can only use the microwaves in the lunchroom, which have been around since Eisenhower was in office. Lisa makes grilled shrimp with pickled shrimp salad, a shrimp cocktail, and for dessert, shrimp ice cream. Our heroes zap a bag of microwave popcorn, and win in a landslide.
2) With the touring production of "Wicked" enjoying a successful run in Appleton, it is announced that "Pushing Daisies”" cutie-pie Kristen Chenoweth will reprise her role of Galinda, which she originated on Broadway, for one night only. This sends Tom into a kind of fevered, slathering frenzy, and he immediately sets off to meet his pint-sized crush. After multiple attempts to gain access to the Appleton PAC’s backstage — including run-ins with security guards, several disguise changes (flower delivery guy, pizza delivery guy, the Tin Man), and a mishap involving trying to swing from the rafters into her dressing room only to get tangled in sand bags — Tom finally finds himself face-to-face with his lady love. The two share a touching duet of the theme from "Joanie Loves Chachi."
3) Oprah! (Who cares what the plot is? It’s Oprah!)
4) "Monk" star and Green Bay native Tony Shalhoub drops by for an interview with the Channel Surfers. All is going well until the room goes dark, someone screams, and when the lights come back, Adam is dead. The four remaining Surfers (and suspects), Tom, Malavika, Sara, and Kendra, urge Shalhoub to use the detective skills he’s surely learned by osmosis on his show to find the killer. Shalhoub agrees, and in the pursuing investigation, we find out the shocking truth: He has no idea what he’s doing. Real detectives are called in, and it turns out Adam simply choked on a cheese Ritz Bit. Shalhoub is ticketed for impersonating a police officer.
Second seasons are unpredictable -- they can be genius, they can be pitiful, they can leave the audience wondering why the networks decided to replace the show's writers with monkeys. Stay tuned to this blog to find out where this gang is headed this year.
Fresh off the news that ABC would be moving critical darling but ratings disappointment "Life on Mars" to a cushy, post-"Lost" Wednesday slot, comes word that the network will cancel further production on its similarly viewer-light delight, "Pushing Daisies."
According to TV Week, it's an industry insider putting the nails in "Daisies'" coffin, and there's been no official word from the Alphabet. However, the show wrapped filming on its 13-episode fall order yesterday; couple that with its ever-diminishing ratings and hearing a leak like this comes as no surprise.
Some small bit of relief comes from series creator Bryan Fuller, who has said that if "Daisies" were canned, he would fly back over to another struggling show, "Heroes,", which he wrote for during its brilliant first season.
But dammit anyway! Seriously! For those of you who have kept watching, "Daisies" has kept every ounce of the spring in its step it displayed during its first, strike-shortened season. After a two-week break, the show returns this Wednesday with an episode about a magician (the great Fred Willard) whose animal assistants keep getting bumped off.
"Don't blame us. We voted for Kodos": Channel Surfing's favorite political TV moments
It’s Election Day, which means serious decisions about serious issues.
Not so in the TV world, which certainly uses politics as a backdrop, but does so without any real consequence – or at least one that doesn’t involve nuclear codes or pronouncing complicated last names like Ahmadinejad.
So after you’ve cast your real ballot for either Barack Obama or John McCain today, congratulate yourself on being a good patriot by enjoying our favorite bits of political theater from the small screen. We’re talking memorable TV moments that taught our bloggers important lessons about democracy in action, and perhaps more importantly, accurately predicted some 40 years earlier the ridiculous level of discourse you might expect from drawn-out, partisan campaigns overwhelmed by today's 24-7 news cycle.
Above all though, the rest of our selections promise to provide a healthy dose of levity once all the political blowhards on cable news start trying to out-scream each other tonight.
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"The Simpsons"
Episode name: "Sideshow Bob Roberts," from Season 6
Original air date: Oct. 9, 1994
Synopsis: Sideshow Bob (voiced by Kelsey Grammer) is released from prison after a call to conservative radio talk-show host Birch Barlow (not voiced by Rush Limbaugh, but may as well have been) causes a swell of listener support. Bob is soon named the Republican nominee for Springfield mayor, and thoroughly trounces Mayor Quimby in the election. In fact, Bob wins 100% of the vote, and Quimby gets only 1%. ("We remind you, there is a 1% margin of error," reports Kent Brockman.) Lisa and Bart, however, suspicious of their nemesis' handy victory -- and threatened with homelessness after Bob decides to build an expressway through their house -- discover Bob and the Republicans committed voter fraud, and the red-haired menace is sent back to prison.
Why it rocked the vote: The parodies flew fast and furious in this satirical masterstroke, leaving heavily on "All the President's Men," as well as "Bob Roberts," "Citizen Kane," the Nixon-Kennedy debate, and George Bush's 1988 "Willie Horton" ad. The voter-fraud plot thread remains a particular hotbed of controversy these days, though we doubt even Karl Rove would stoop to giving The Big Bopper a vote.
Episode name: "Lisa's Substitute," from Season 2
Original air date: April 25, 1991
Synopsis: The B-story to this classic episode sees Bart running for class president against Martin Prince, and winning the support of his fourth-grade classmates through his outlandish promises and goofball antics. In the end, his reliance on the youth vote backfires as none of his supporters turn out to the polls.
Why it rocked the vote: Successfully aping one of the Democratic Party's major tactical flaws, this sidestory also wins points for Homer's comforting and oddly sensible words of wisdom to his defeated son: The class president just has to do extra work, and doesn't get to do anything really cool. So who cares?
"Northern Exposure"
Episode title: “Realpolitik,” from Season 6
Original air date: December 12, 1994
Synopsis: Before we came to know Wasilla, folks in the lower-48 looked to the quirky residents of Cicely, Alaska for their “small town” fix. In this episode, free-spirited pilot Maggie O’Connell (Janine Turner) runs for mayor of Cicely – and wins! She’s a natural for politics, sparking a romantic interest from fellow councilman Chris Stevens (John Corbett).
Why it rocked the vote: Actress Janine Turner actually said Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska shares many characteristics with the independent, strong-willed Maggie (who “flew her own plane, shot her own moose, marched to the beat of her own drum”). Although Maggie was never one for stylin’ or dropping her g’s, all her boyfriends met somewhat impossible demises, leading the townsfolk of Cicely to label it the “O’Connell Curse.” Hmmmm. Palin Effect, anyone? Other than reflecting some aspects of our current political climate, the mayoral election of Cicely is about a surprise, last-minute win by a dark horse candidate who turns out to be a pretty good leader.
"The West Wing"
Episode title: “Election Day, Part II,” from Season 7
Original air date: April 9, 2006
Synopsis: If art imitates life, then the “West Wing’s” mock-election in Season 7 could be a case of life imitating art. In it, a little-known, eloquent Democratic Texas congressman goes up against an experienced older California Senator who is well known for being unpredictable. Sound familiar? The battle for the Presidency between Matt Santos (Jimmy Smits) and Arnold Vinick (Alan Alda) comes to an end in this two-part episode, tinged by the tragic death of Santos’ running mate and longtime “West Wing” staple Leo McGarry (John Spencer). Santos comes out victorious when the states of Oregon and Nevada swing in his favor and Vinick refuses on principle to ask for a recount.
Why it rocked the vote: Even though “The West Wing” had a definite leftist slant (it being the brain child of uber-liberal Aaron Sorkin), its underlying theme was unmistakably patriotic in that touchy-feely “I love democracy” way. This episode brings the narrative arc of the fake Jed Bartlet Administration to an end. The words of hope offered by President-elect Santos at the end of a prolonged campaign are applicable to the real-world election. “Our votes may have been divided but our country will not be divided. Because ultimately it isn't about left or right but about doing right.” Barring a recount in Ohio, of course, it’s a sentiment we can all agree on regardless of our political affiliation.
"Saved by the Bell"
Episode title: “The Election,” from Season 1
Original air date: November 18, 1989
Synopsis: After overhearing that the winner of the student body election wins a free trip to Washington D.C., always-conniving Zack Morris throws his hat in the ring against longtime friend, real deal politico, Jessie Spano. Zack becomes an advocate for Joe Trapper Keeper by offering to do away with school rules and regulations, much to Jessie’s chagrin. Zack and Screech also create a propaganda video featuring Gorbachev and Castro to drum up support from the school’s apparent communist base, and in the biggest October surprise in election history, Jessie’s middle name is revealed to be “Mertyl” (leading to one of “SBTB’s” all-time great lines, “Mertyl’s the name of my turtle.”) Jessie flip-flops to gain majority support from a fickle electorate. Zack flip-flops when Mr. Belding, as part of a ruse to test Mr. Morris' seriousness about being president, announces the Washington trip has been canceled. In the end, a remorseful Zack can’t let Jessie’s dream of being a future Congresswoman die (though that’ll all go down the drain when she becomes a stripper in “Showgirls,” anyways) just because he’d like to be “sipping ale with the Quayles.”
Why it rocked the vote: Lots of Mr. Dewey, which is always good. And who can forget the memorable write-in tally for class president from a singing Mr. Belding: “These people got the following write-in votes: Jason Bateman, nine; Alf, seven; Gilligan, six; and the Skipper twooooooo.” Frankly, we think Alf got screwed.
"Arrested Development"
Episode title: “The Immaculate Election,” from Season 2
Original air date: March 20, 2005
Synopsis: Speaking of Jason Bateman, when Michael Bluth gets wind that his son, George Michael (Michael Cera), is planning a run for school president, he misinterprets how popular (“Everyone likes George Michael”) the mild-mannered boy actually is. Michael also conveniently forgets his own doomed presidential run as “Mr. Two Percent,” which leads to an unwelcome epiphany and a desperate plea for help from brother/professional election saboteur G.O.B. (Will Arnett.) While George Michael has no chance against multi-term juggernaut Steve Holt (“Volt for Steve Holt!”), Michael hopes a few Swiftboat tactics will at least allow George Michael to beat “the Indian kid.” However, selling his soul to the devil leads to an embarrassing campaign video for light-saber wielding George Michael, and ultimately, only one more percentage point than Pops managed to grab back in the day.
Why it rocked the vote: The payoff is George Michael’s G.O.B.-produced election video, which could have earned the unsuccessful illusionist some major bucks as a Republican strategist. The politics of fear also come into play when G.O.B. is caught screaming “terrorist!” during a school pep rally as the Indian kid’s video airs. So glad that kind of stuff doesn't happen at political rallies in 2008.
"The Brady Bunch" Episode title: “Vote for Brady,” from Season 1
"Spin City"
Episode title: “Goodbye, Parts 1 and 2,” from Season 4
Original air date: May 24, 2000
Synopsis: Nikki’s new boyfriend is a hit with the Mayor’s staff, which would be fine and dandy if not for the minor detail that he’s a big time mobster. When a snoopy reporter who has it in for Deputy Mayor Mike Flaherty (Michael J. Fox) starts digging into the story, it’s revealed that the staff did minor favors for Nikki’s mob friend, including the Mayor giving away a no-bid construction contract. That it wasn’t intentionally shady doesn’t matter to Mr. Muckraker. Though Stuart offers up Paul as the office's sacrificial lamb, Mike shockingly falls on the sword during an impromptu press conference and leaves City Hall for good (it’s the only hand he can play, the spinmeister surmises) so the Mayor’s political career can remain untarnished.
Why it rocked the vote: “Spin City” never killed in the ratings, but this one did since it marked Michael J. Fox’s emotional exit from full-time TV due to his real-life Parkinson’s diagnosis. Even though it was a half-hour comedy, “Spin City” displayed a tremendous amount of heart throughout. “Goodbye” is particularly sentimental (even including Fox's "Family Ties" dad, Michael Gross, in a perfect cameo) as it examines the devotion Mike has for the Mayor -- a testament to the “take a bullet” kind of relationship a lot of people have for the politicians they serve. Well, except folks like Scott McClellan, who know a good book deal when they see one.
Decision '08: The votes are in! Here are your candidates
VOTING IS CLOSED.
The primaries have sputtered to a close, the votes have been painstakingly tallied, and the elderly poll volunteers have been sent to bed with a pat on the back and a warm glass of Metamucil.
All three races in Channel Surfing's quest to determine the Greatest TV Character of All Time were real squeakers, with a single vote determining the Republican and Democrat races, and a tie in the Independent contest. As previously decided, super delegates Malavika Jagannathan and Adam Reinhard have cast the winning ballots in that race, but then they had a thought: With the races so close, why not give you guys a chance to pick a Number Two? A vice president, shall we say. A Dick Cheney. A Dan Quayle. A Spiro Agnew. (Wow, we've had some crappy VPs, haven't we?)
Anyway, here's how it'll work. Vote for your favorite TV character from our three finalists: Murphy Brown (D), Alex P. Keaton (R), and The Fonz (I). Then vote for your SECOND favorite character (regardless of party affiliation): Homer Simpson (D), Oscar the Grouch (R), or Michael Scott (I).
To help you decide, we present to you the following clips.
Democrat Murphy Brown:
Republican Alex P. Keaton:
Independent The Fonz:
Democrat #2 Homer Simpson:
Republican #2 Oscar the Grouch:
Independent #2 Michael Scott:
Remember, feel free to mix and match parties when making your choices. Thanks again to everyone who voted, and be sure to check back when the winners are announced on Election Day, Nov. 4!
Decision '08: Third-party candidates who aren't lame
Third parties in the United States have had a dubious history. Sometimes they provide voters with well-meaning but inconsequential candidates who nevertheless supply important election issues that the two main contenders might have otherwise ignored. Sometimes they give us whackadoodles like Ross Perot. (We never did become a nation of chicken pluckers, now did we?)
But for every third-rate third-party candidate who never made it -- like Eugene Debs, Ralph Nader, or Pat Paulson -- there are success stories. For example, Theodore Roosevelt won 27% of the presidential vote in 1912 for the Bull Moose party. Reform Party candidate and “Predator” star Jesse Ventura became governor of Minnesota in 1999.
OK, maybe “success” is too strong a word.
But the third-party candidates for Channel Surfing’s contest to determine the Greatest TV Character of All Time are different. Like the best independents, they’re free thinkers who do their own thing and don’t necessarily follow the rules all the time. And there’s not a chicken plucker in the bunch.
Aaaay Party candidate: Arthur "The Fonz" Fonzarelli, "Happy Days"
As a candidate, The Fonz would never flip-flop on issues. But he may jump over them on water skis. As the coolest guy in the history of Milwaukee (take that, Daryl Stuermer), Arthur Fonzarelli was so popular on "Happy Days" that he eventually got top billing, even though he started off as a secondary character. But his lady-loving, bad-guy-pummeling, juke-box-fixing ways won the hearts of viewers, and would likely go a long way toward wooing voters as well. Fonzie, played by the now immortally bronzed Henry Winkler, was never overtly political, save for his support of Republican Dwight Eisenhower ("I like Ike. My bike likes Ike.") It was social causes that made the leather-clad hero's motor run, specifically his support of minorities and the disabled. He even had a soft spot for illegal aliens ... as long as they were named Mork.
Logical Party candidate: Mr. Spock, "Star Trek"
We realize there are no political parties in the United Federation of Planets, but even if there were, logical know-it-all Vulcan Spock would be above the partisan bickering. Although many of his principles line up on the liberal side of things – he sacrifices himself for the greater good in "Star Trek II" – it would be most illogical to tie yourself to one party and its beliefs. Spock, played with icy smooth by Leonard Nimoy, may be cool under pressure, but he knows violence is sometimes a necessary means to achieve an end. He’s a true independent who refuses to be blinded by party loyalty to make the decision he thinks is right for the society and the galaxy. Think of him as Jim Jeffords, the Senator from Vermont who switched his party affiliation and tipped the balance in the Senate. Only with pointy ears.
Fuhgeddaboutit Party candidate: Tony Soprano, "The Sopranos"
Gangster. Adulterer. Murderer. And he'd probably still get more votes than Bob Barr. His less-than-wholesome aspects notwithstanding, Tony Soprano is definitely a man used to being in charge. The de facto boss of the DiMeo crime syndicate, Tony (James Gandolfini) juggles his work associates -- a gang of tough, no-nonsense killers -- with a much more volatile group: his family. Surely the maniacs in congress would seem harmless as baby ducks compared to a cranky wife, alcoholic daughter and slacker son. What would a Tony Soprano campaign look like, you ask? Picture his campaign manager, Dr. Jennifer Melfi, gently deflecting any harsh questions from reporters with some sharp psychobabble. Or perhaps his running mate, Paulie Walnuts, making appearances at local Denny's. And the song played at every rally? Why, "Don't Stop Believing," of course.
Serenity Now! Party candidate: George Costanza, "Seinfeld"
George Costanza has no principles, so who better to represent the undecided, free-thinking masses than this bald, slow witted, neurotic New Yorker? Although George’s love of money and success (defined by luxurious bathrooms) is well documented on “Seinfeld,” he has been on unemployment, is technically the executor of dead fiancée Susan Ross’ charitable foundation and doesn’t believe in God (but has no problems converting to the Latvian Orthodox faith for a girlfriend). George (Jason Alexander) will do anything to get ahead, so he’ll easily switch sides if it suits him. He’s the independent swing vote who can’t be pinned down because no one really knows what he believes. Except in himself, of course, because it’s always the season of George.
Anti-Demonic Party candidate: Buffy Summers, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
The only character on our list to have saved the world from Armageddon, Buffy Summers is also one of the most positive female role models of our generation -- and not just for her ability to accessorize. Her supernatural strength and fighting skills in the service of defeating vampires and demons made her the perfect answer for every horror-movie scream queen who ever wandered down a dark alley. So she's got the women's rights thing down. But Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is no girly-girl, violence being her preferred form of communication (apart from snappy one-liners.) Yet she's fiercely anti-military, unless she happens to be dating a hunky (if boring) soldier boy. Above all, she's the epitome of independent thinking, even if she does most of that thinking with the pointy end of a stake.
That's What She Said Party candidate: Michael Scott, "The Office"
Now before you go saying, “wait a minute, are all independents just people who can’t think for themselves?” we’ll introduce you to Michael Scott. The awkward, obnoxious, self-serving boss of the Scranton-branch of Dunder Miflin really can’t think for himself, but that’s not the only reason he’s an independent. Profit margins are important, but the well being of his employees is even more important. He’s touchy-feely but out-of-touch at the same time. In his heart of hearts, Michael (Steve Carell) wants to be a Democrat, to befriend the gays and turn back the time on slavery, but he doesn’t quite have the balls to be a principled fiscally conservative Republican. So he’ll probably just vote for whomever everyone else is voting for. In fact, he’d probably devise some sort of bizarre Election Day party to get his employees to divulge their presidential choices, and then realize he never registered to vote in the first place.
There you go, our third and final primary. Voting is still open for both the Republicans (which currently sees a tie between Alex Keaton and Oscar the Grouch) and the Democrats (tied between Homer Simpson and Murphy Brown). Get your friends to vote, vote again under an assumed name, pull an ACORN and register Mickey Mouse, whatever -- just break those ties! And check back here Tuesday for the final election to determine the Greatest TV Character of All Time.
Sure, the entertainment industry leans liberal. That goes without saying. If it didn't, well ... there'd be a lot more Westerns on TV, for one thing. "Will & Grace" would've been about a married couple. "Sex and the City" might have been called "Waiting Until Marriage and the City." And instead of skewering Sarah Palin weekly on "Saturday Night Live," Tina Fey would be starring in a moving Lifetime biopic about her courtship with the First Dude, and the dangers of moose hunting.
So it shouldn't be surprising that the majority of lead TV protagonists often embody a more liberal point of view. But does that make them great characters? You be the judge.
Here are our picks for the Democratic TV character primary. (Voting is still open for the Republican primary, by the way. Just click here and break the current tie between Cartman and Alex P. Keaton!)
Candidate #1: Carrie Bradshaw, "Sex and the City"
Carrie Bradshaw may know good sex, but what’s her favorite position on politics? Ms. Bradshaw — who famously refused to, er, “shower” a politician-boyfriend would probably vote for the party of J.F.K because she appreciates Jackie O’s style. In this post-woman’s lib world, Carrie’s old-fashioned romanticism and political apathy don’t strike true with old-school feminists, but there’s no chance this single (now married) gal would approve of abstinence-only education. (I’m betting, though, that Mr. Big is probably a member of the Grand Olde Party). Carrie, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, probably would have been convinced by fellow liberal Miranda to vote for Hillary Clinton, but there’s no doubt she’d support the Democratic nominee. After all, she’s pro-choice, pro-rent control and pro-spending. If that isn’t the hallmark of a Dem, what is?
Candidate #2: Cliff Huxtable, "The Cosby Show"
Now we didn’t just pick our next candidate because it just so happens we have the first black presidential candidate. In many ways, Cliff Huxtable and the Huxtable clan depict a Reagan-tastic vision of nuclear family values, but the continuous theme that Cliff and Claire promote in their household is one of love and tolerance. Hippies if we ever saw 'em. First of all, Cliff’s a feminist. He’s a gynecologist/obstetrician who clearly doesn’t wear the pants in the house and he's OK with that. Although Cliff isn’t a fan of spending money — in fact, he’s notoriously stingy when his children ask for more — he pushes all his children to attend college and expects them to. Then there’s the obvious point that he participated in the 1963 March on Washington and never fails to remind his brood what his generation had to fight to attend college, vote and become equals. Cliff’s a blue-dog Democrat, a fiscal conservative whose social values lean left.
Candidate #3: Roseanne Connor, "Roseanne"
Blue collar? Check. Lower middle class? Check. Delusions of winning the lottery for an entire painful season? Unfortunately, check. Roseanne Connor and family reflected an America most people were familiar with, but had never seen presented to them on their TV screens. Two working parents, money problems, family fighting, loose-meat sandwiches — it all added up to one of the most realistic sitcoms ever produced. The Connors dealt with everyday social issues like alcoholism, teen pregnancy, domestic abuse, and never sugar-coated it. Over the course of nine seasons — eight if you don't count that surreal lottery season — Roseanne quit one job over a dispute with management, took odd jobs here and there to pay bills, and opened two small businesses. And through it all, she never lost her ability to speak her mind, making her one of the first lead female characters to be able to express herself without caring about what anyone thinks.
Candidate #4: Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, "M*A*S*H"
Capt. Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce isn’t in the army for the food or the discipline. With his Hawaiian shirts, fondness for practical jokes and his love of moonshine gin, the boozy but good doctor from Crabapple Cove, Maine is the 4077th M*A*S*H unit’s very own anti-war peacenik. Drafted into the army medical corps, Hawkeye, played with easy-going charm by Alan Alda, has no love for chain-of-command. In fact, he writes a heartfelt letter to President Harry S. Truman (also a Democrat) complaining about the war and army bureaucracy. But he’s no morality police. Rarely does Hawkeye chide any of his married cohorts for cavorting in supply closets with the nurses — unless they happen to conflict with his own desires. Hawkeye is the independent Democrat who questions authority, deplores pointless violence and wants to peacefully (without any interference from the government or others) live his life.
Candidate #5: Murphy Brown, "Murphy Brown"
Long before she became political fodder for Republican Vice President Dan Quayle in a weird TV-meets reality world, Murphy Brown (the brilliant Candice Bergen) lovingly recalls getting maced at the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. The recovering alcoholic and television reporter’s love for Motown is only rivaled by her pleasure in skewering politicians on fake TV news show “FYI.” Difficult, sarcastic, troublesome and flawed, Murphy is the Mary Richards of the 1990s, if Mary had smoked a lot of pot and had a cranky muralist named Eldin living with her for almost a decade. Even without Quayle’s attack on her single momhood, Murphy’s do-it-for-the-small-guy and socially progressive attitudes on the show mark her as a hippie — er — Democrat. But it must be noted that Murphy is banned from both the Bush and the Clinton administrations — proof that reporters can be critical despite their personal political feelings.
Candidate #6: Homer Simpson, "The Simpsons"
We know what you're thinking: No way would Homer Simpson ever care about politics, let alone belong to a particular party. But we believe Homer would be a blue-stater (even if we still don't know which state he lives in) all the way, and we offer the following clip — from the series' upcoming annual Halloween episode — as evidence:
Commercial Interruption: What's going on with 'Heroes'? It's actually ... good?
Sometimes there's just too much television for one Channel Surfing blogger to handle. That's when we need a break to sit back, relax and indulge in some friendly back-and-forth (via email of course -- we don't actually like to speak to one another in person). Bloggers Adam Reinhard and Malavika Jagannathan discuss "Heroes" and the strange, giddy glee the third season has been giving them so far ... a feeling that's almost the exact opposite of getting run through with a sword.
Adam: As much as I hated "Heroes" last season, that's how much I'm digging it this season. And it's not because the writing has improved, or the storylines, or the visual effects ... because those things are basically as weak as ever. No, "Heroes" is simply kicking ass and taking names this season, and the unexpected rush has been exhilarating.
The subtitle to this season, "Villains," has already started paying dividends in surprising ways, mainly by playing with the idea of who is good and who is bad. For example, take Sylar, the show's main baddie. In the course of only five episodes, he has removed the top of Claire's skull, killed another bad guy during a bank hold-up, partnered up with HRG to track down villains, then saved Claire from being sucked into a vortex. Oh, turns out he's also Peter and Nathan's brother. And a recent trip to the future saw him living quiet domestic life with a young son, but then going nuclear and taking out a whole city when his son is killed during a home invasion. So is Sylar a good guy now? Or merely lying in wait for the perfect opportunity to strike? Whatever the case, it's given new life to a previously one-note character.
Speaking of shaking up boring characters, the previously only-around-for-exposition Mohinder has gotten a kick in the pants after experimenting with a formula to create superpowers ... on himself. The results have given him super-strength and agility, but also creepy scales on his back, and apparently the ability to wrap people in spider webbing -- which, judging by the number of bodies in his lab, he quite enjoys doing. His claim that it's all in the name of finding a "cure" for Maya makes me think he's still basically a good guy -- because otherwise he would have killed that annoying twit by now.
Malavika, I seem to recall there was a particular character (and actor) from last night's episode you wanted to discuss.
Malavika: Before I get into my rantings and ravings about "Heroes," I need to point out that some of the fine actors from HBO's "The Wire" are finally getting some face time on network TV that they rightfully deserve.
In January, creator-writer-producer of "The Wire" David Simon lashed out at Hollywood for ignoring the actors (particularly the black actors) from this critically acclaimed show. Now we've got Amy Ryan on "The Office," Lance Reddick on "Lost" and "Fringe," and Tristan Wilds on "90210." Plus, as mentioned by fellow Channel Surfing blogger Tom Rozwadowski, Clarke Peters aka Lester Freamon of "The Wire" is enjoying a spot on ABC's "Life on Mars," which quite honestly made me actually want to watch that. (A cop show with Det. Lester Freamon? Sign me up!) It's a frickin' "Wire" lovefest out there.
I've got to give a shout-out to "Heroes" for grabbing not one but two other stars from that greatest of TV shows. Prior to last night's episode, I had already spotted Jamie Hector, previously seen on "The Wire" as up-and-coming kingpin Marlo Stanfield, with a key villain role. But I had to recreate the dance of joy when I recognized the vortex-creating fiend that nearly killed Claire last night on "Heroes" as none other than Andre Royo -- everyone's favorite junkie-informant, Reginald "Bubbles" Cousins! Even though his character seems to have, umm, been sucked into oblivion, his short run didn't seem as contrived as some of the other minor characters from seasons past (Moron Twins, anyone?) It doesn't get better than seeing a cleaned-up-but-still-conflicted Bubs getting vortexed into nowhere.
It's sad that the season premiere of "Heroes" only picked up 9.9 million viewers -- a sharp drop from last year -- and although DVR ratings may pull the show from Nielsen hell, "Heroes" fans shouldn't give up on the show because it's finally getting good again. I mean it. For all the reasons I picked on the show last season (the convoluted plots, the pointless characters), I'm beginning to appreciate the careful layering of plotlines and characters that seem to be falling into place as the show examines the thin grey line between good and bad. In a way, it's a lot like -- yup, you guessed it -- "The Wire."
When Hiro -- that goodest of the good guys -- stuck that sword into best friend Ando for the greater good (or bad?), I gasped out loud. Adam, where do you think they're going with this?
Adam: The shish-kabobbing of sidekick Ando was so sudden and so out of the blue that it literally had me in shock, and I was having trouble remembering the minutes that led up to it. I seem to recall Daphne the Speedster walking into the bar where Hiro and Ando were lamenting their misplacement of sneaky Adam Monroe, and offering to team up with them. Her partner -- whose name I don't think we've ever heard, but whose power is he grows stronger when people around him are afraid -- demands that Hiro kill Ando to prove his worth, and hands our intrepid time-stopper a sword. Hiro, his friendship with Ando already in question after teleporting into the future and seeing Future Ando kill Future Hiro -- seemingly doesn't hesitate. He apologizes to Ando, says sacrifices must be made in order to save the world, and then sticks the poor schmuck.
In the split second before it happened, I remember thinking, Well, he's going to stop time, grab Ando and run, or maybe figure out a way to only make it look like Ando died, blah blah blah. But no. As far as I can tell, ANDO. IS. DEAD. And if that's true, then my feelings for Hiro will have changed entirely. He'll no longer be the lovably bumbling goof who gets by almost purely on pluck and courage. Now he's going to be the guy who killed his best friend for the sole reason of hooking up with characters of questionable morals. And if that's true -- and by God I hope it's not -- then my whole feeling for the show will change. Because that's just mean, and not heroic at all.
Any last thoughts?
Malavika: As much as I enjoy the breathtaking array of characters who are introduced on any given episode, my complaint with "Heroes" is that occasionally they cross the line from ensemble casting to who-the-hell-is-that-again territory. Case in point: I completely forgot that the guy at the end who is apparently planting thoughts is actually Matt Parkman's father. I consider myself a smart person, but sometimes I need like a cheat sheet of characters to keep it straight, especially given that last season seemed to end so long ago.
But other than that, no complaints from me thus far. I'm just happy to feel like I can't wait another week to find out what happens next. I like the new shade of darkness that's enveloping everyone -- yes, even uber geek Hiro -- but I also hope they don't completely shift characters from one end of the spectrum to the other. I'm not sure I can handle that.
Oh, and Tim Kring, if you're reading this, feel free to cast Michael K. Williams (aka Omar Little, everyone's favorite gay stick-up artist from "The Wire"). Villain or hero, he's guaranteed to do it with style.
Decision '08: Who's the greatest TV character ever?
With the current discourse surrounding the presidential race being devolved to the intellectual equivalent of monkeys throwing doo-doo at each other, we here at Channel Surfing believe it's time for a change. The kind of change where we switch the channel from CNN to TV Land, because all this political poppycock is making us cranky.
So at least for a little while, we're going to disregard the names Obama, McCain and Biden (and forget we ever heard of Palin, quite frankly), and focus on some characters we actually care about: TV characters. Bunker. Simpson. Fife. Bradshaw. We probably wouldn't want them running the country, but for a few hours at a time we're more than happy to give them the run of our living rooms.
With the lure of corrivalry so strong these days, we pose the following question: Who is the greatest TV character of all time? While such a contest would be fun by itself, given this silly season we're in we thought it necessary to add a twist. We're going to divide our list of 18 characters into their appropriate (according to us) political parties, and have you, our loyal readers, choose three candidates (Republican, Democrat and Independent/Crazy-Ralph-Nader-Upset-Dude) from a series of primaries. Those three will then compete for the office (er, title) of Greatest TV Character Ever. If that sounds a bit convoluted and overly complicated, well, that's democracy for you.
We'll begin with the Republicans. To vote for your favorite, leave a comment with their name, and maybe why you think others should vote for them. (Keep in mind this is all meant in good fun, so let's keep any crazy political diatribes to a minimum.) And don't forget to give us hell about who we may have forgotten.
Candidate #1: Alex P. Keaton, "Family Ties"
With heroes like William F. Buckley Jr., Milton Friedman and Richard Nixon, Alex P. Keaton is not only a prime Republican candidate, he's the very embodiment of the Grand Olde Party itself. Alex, played by Michael J. Fox, has a passion for economics and a flair for wearing neckties around the house. The character even became a prime pop culture example of the influence of Reaganomics in the '80s. The constant head-butting between Alex and his liberal, hippie parents providing much of the show's humor, Alex also had a soft side, like when he chose to comfort his distressed sister Mallory instead of completing an interview at his dream school, Princeton. Whoever said the Compassionate Conservative is dead?
Candidate #2: Barney Fife, "The Andy Griffith Show," "Mayberry R.F.D."
Everyone knows the NRA always supports Republicans, so who better to represent and protect the Second Amendment than self-affirmed gun expert Barney Fife? Sure, his abilities with a firearm may be questionable — the Mayberry sheriff's deputy (played with manic energy by the great Don Knotts) usually only carries around one bullet, which is almost always discharged accidentally — but try and take it away from him and you'll have a fight on your hands. Overly emotional and alarmist, Barney's main reason for being is enforcing the law. And even if no law is currently being broken, that won't stop him from exerting a little authority. He's a teddy bear at heart ... but watch out for those claws.
Candidate #3: Archie Bunker, "All in the Family," "Archie Bunker's Place"
Specifically designed by Norman Lear to be an unlikeable sourpuss, Archie Bunker (the late Carroll O'Connor) has endured as one of television's most beloved hotheads. A big fan of Nixon and an early supporter of Reagan (in an episode that aired in 1976, he actually predicted Reagan's '80 White House win), Archie is very much set in his ways, and would never let something as trivial as facts get him down. With his left-leaning son-in-law Mike taking the brunt of Archie's racist rants and uninformed malapropisms — and giving the show a biting political slant that's still fresh today — Archie was basically just a decent guy with a big mouth and a short fuse.
Candidate #4: Eric Cartman, "South Park"
Cruel, opportunistic, and hysterically offensive, Eric Cartman is one mean little bastard. He's also fiercely calculating and controlling, and is constantly hatching plans to either accumulate wealth or exact revenge — often against his best friends. (Actually, he doesn't even like his friends all that much, unless he needs something from them. That would make him a pretty good Senator, come to think of it.) Fervently anti-Semitic, Cartman is so far right he should really be running under the Fascist Party. But this is a contest of character, not politics, and Cartman has become one of the funniest in the history of TV.
Candidate #5: Oscar the Grouch, "Sesame Street"
At this point you may be saying to yourself, 'Wow, these so-called "Republican" characters are mostly a bunch of slow-witted, misanthropic blowhards.' Obviously we didn't intend for this happen — it's just kind of working out that way. Case in point, our fifth candidate. He's a trash-loving anti-environmentalist, keeps a chauffeur who carts his whole house around for him ... he even has a pet elephant named Fluffy. If Oscar the Grouch isn't a member of the Grand Olde Party, then this whole exercise is a waste of time. One of the original residents of Sesame Street, Oscar the Grouch ("grouch" is the name of his species, by the way, not just an allusion to his temperament) has served for decades as a foil for the, shall we say, more cheerful denizens of that sunny boulevard. He shows kids that it's OK to be grumpy now and then — and it may even serve you well in an election. (Though try telling McCain that.)
Candidate #6: Ari Gold, "Entourage"
Sure, he’s a Jewish Hollywood agent from the East Coast with a Harvard education and a public school background. That’s exactly why “Entourage’s” Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) would vote for the Grand Olde Party — as a giant middle finger to the stereotypes. Ari may have been a liberal in his Harvard (or Michigan) days, but he’s a successful businessman and a family man now. Sure, Ari is a peacemaker (his favorite phrase is some form of “let’s hug it out”), but his practical take-no-prisoners approach and his belief in the power of the individual is much more in line with Republican values. Think of him as a Guiliani-Republican, socially progressive enough to encourage pot-smoking but not afraid to use force when necessary. (An aside: The inspiration for Piven’s character is Ari Emanuel, brother to Illinois Congressman and chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee Rahm Emanuel).
That's it for the Republican primary, folks! Check back here for the Democratic primary on Friday. Vote early and vote often!
Hold onto your knitted handgun cozies: "Pushing Daisies" is coming back from the dead. Last season's most whimsical, weird, wonderful show only churned out nine episodes before being cut short by the writer's strike. Having not aired since December, even the most fervent "Daisies" fans — of which several of us Channel Surfers proudly count ourselves — could be forgiven for a spattering of memory loss where Ned, Chuck, Emerson and Olive are concerned.
With the second season approaching mercifully soon (Oct. 1), and a gorgeous first-season DVD set in stores now, here's a quick recap of everything you need to know before making the return trip to Coeur d'Coeurs. (Note: This recaps includes a fair share of spoilers, so the uninitiated should beware.)
In the pilot episode (cutely titled "Pie-lette"), we're introduced to pie-maker Ned (Emmy-nominee Lee Pace), who makes a mean three plum, and can bring the dead back to life with a single touch. The catch is, the resuscitated party can only stick around for one minute, or else someone else in the vicinity will kick it. A second touch from Ned and they're dead again forever.
This is all well and good for a while — though I'm guessing he stays away from eating lobster — and in fact, the ability lends Ned a reluctant side gig helping cranky private eye Emerson Cod (the invaluable Chi McBride) crack unsolved murders by asking the victims themselves how they died and cashing in on the reward money. But when one of those victims turns out to be Ned's childhood sweetheart, Charlotte "Chuck" Charles (Anna Friel), Ned can't bring himself to re-deadify her, much to Emerson's open, withering dismay.
Chuck and Ned are in love, openly and blushingly. Trick is, they can never touch -- not even so much as brush pie crumbs off each other's cheek — or Chuck will go back to pushing up daisies. (Ohhh, THAT'S what the title means!) It's also not the only chink in their armor of amour: Back when Ned was a boy, his mother dropped dead of a brain aneurysm, and the young piemaker, only recently having discovered his unusual powers, brought her back. He had not, at this point, learned of the one-minute time restriction, and so his neighbor, Chuck's father, keeled over backwards while watering the lawn.
With Chuck back and suddenly such an important part of his world, the secret has been bubbling in Ned's stomach like the rotten fruit he brings back to life for his pies. The end of last season handled the fallout of Ned revealing his secret, and presumably this season will follow up the tenuous trust issues that Chuck has developed.
Meanwhile there's Olive Snook (Emmy-nominee Kristen Chenoweth), petite ex-horse jockey and waitress at Ned's pie shop, who's desperate to do a little touching of her own with her boss. Originally supposed to be a more peripheral character, Olive became a much larger presence thanks to the casting of Broadway star Chenoweth, and so much the better. Olive became a perfect foil in the early episodes of the show, desperate to find out Chuck's secret in an attempt to break apart the strangely incontiguous lovebirds.
Her plans lead her to the doorstep of Chuck's aunts and guardians, Lily (Swoosie Kurtz) and Vivian (Ellen Greene), a pair of former synchronized swimming stars stricken with dual bouts of crippling social anxiety disorder. Their niece's apparent death (Ned insists Chuck keep her distance from the grieving pair, to which Chuck reluctantly agrees, barring the odd pie she has delivered to them) has only exacerbated their shut-in tendencies. Olive's affection for the aunts prevents her from revealing Chuck's secret (or what Olive thinks the secret is, that Chuck faked her death) and together with Chuck concocts plans to break Lily and Vivian out of their funk. The main ingredient of the plan is a vial of homeopathic mood enhancers Chuck bakes into the crust of the aunts' pies (and sold door-to-door by Olive's would-be paramour, Alfredo.) The doping has some unintended side effects when an overdose leads a loopy Lily to reveal to Olive a long-hidden secret: She is, in fact, Chuck's mother.
All of this plot-wrangling — as bizarre and far-fetched as it sounds (and is) — is mere window-dressing for the nimble writing, the sharp comic acting, the brightly colorful set design, the musical interludes, and the dizzy romantic overtones of a prime time fairy tale for adults, complete with a omniscient, sometimes rhyming narrator (Jim Dale). It makes for a blissfully silly hour of television, and by the looks of the Season Two preview, it's only going to get better.
"Pushing Daisies" season 2 premiere airs Wednesday at 7 p.m. on ABC.
Looks like the Emmy Awards are finally starting to give viewers a chance to weigh in... too bad it's not on this year's award nominees or on previous years' snubs.
No, instead, the good folks of the 60th annual awards are letting us decide what the greatest comedy and drama moments in television history should be. You get to decide whether Radar O'Reilly's on-the-verge-of-tears announcement of Lt. Col Henry Blake's death on "M*A*S*H" on the 1975 episode "Abyssinia, Henry" (oddly in the comedy half of the draw) should take the coveted top spot. Or perhaps the favorite drama moment should belong to Kyle Chandler's memorable and Emmy-nominated appearance on "Grey's Anatomy" as an explosive bomb squad agent (literally).
Click hereto vote. Round 1 of voting ends on Sept. 9, when Round 2 begins. Please vote as many times as you like to ensure that the pilot episode of "Miami Vice" doesn't walk away with the honor of being the most dramatic moment in all of television history.
The winners will be announced during the broadcast of the Emmy Awards on Sept. 21 on ABC.
Tambor, Bateman both seem pretty sure about an “Arrested Development” movie
If this turns out to be true, then yes, Pop-Pop gets a treat.
Jeffrey Tambor, who played George "Pop-Pop" Bluth on the woefully underwatched and probably over-blogged-about "Arrested Development," gave some happy news to EW.com over the weekend regarding a possible movie version of the lamentably defunct sitcom.
“After months of speculation, I think we have finally figured out for sure that we are indeed doing an Arrested Development movie," Tambor said Sunday, while at the premiere of his new movie, "Hellboy 2: The Golden Army." "I am very excited about that. I love that cast and crew and I felt like we had more to say."
This follows similar confirmation-y sounding rhetoric from the show's star, Jason Bateman, who, while chatting up his new movie, "Hancock," dropped this in regards to show creator Mitch Hurwitz: "He's got a really, really good idea for the movie version that would not be just simply the equivalent of four episodes back to back to back. It's actually something that would be specific to the medium of film."
Channel Surfing bloggers (well, the two cool Channel Surfing bloggers, anyway) have been damn-near obsessed with these movie rumors ever since they surfaced — hell, ever since the show's series finale, when narrator Ron Howard made his first on-screen appearance during a scene with script-pitching Maeby and opined, "Maybe a movie?"
It's possible that the sudden popularity of now-movie-stars Bateman and Michael Cera, who played Bateman's timid man-child son George Michael, could be pushing this project closer to reality. If so, you can thank me later for sitting through "Juno" twice.
Plenty more "Lost" speculation to come, but one of the more interesting developments following last night's two-hour finale comes from Harold Perrineau's exit interview with TV Guide.
As "Lost" fans well know, Perrineau's Michael Dawson character left the show after a Season Two killing spree that felled Tallie two-some Ana Lucia and Libby in unexpected fashion. The swerve was part of a betrayal storyline that gave Michael and his enigmatic son Walt access to a boat which would take them back home. Following a third season, "Lost" creators uncharacteristically leaked Michael's return at ComicCon, which essentially killed the buzz about who Ben's "mysterious man on the freighter" was in a mid-Season Four storyline.
Anyway, Mr. Dawson re-appeared as "Kevin Johnson: freighter saboteur" in a slightly interesting storyline, if only because it was revealed that the island wouldn't let a tormented Michael kill himself, even as he placed a gun to his temple and pulled the trigger. With that baggage on the freedom freighter, Michael was finally given his "release" by Ghost Dad Shephard in last night's episode. Lest you think he might re-appear -- as most suspect Jin eventually will -- Perrineau confirms he's done with the show. He also doesn't hold back his displeasure at the Michael storyline in the TV Guide interview.
"It's like, what the hell? I came back for that? ... I'm disappointed, mostly because I wanted Michael and Walt to have a happy ending. I was hoping Michael would get it together and actually want to be a father to his kid and try to figure out a way to get back [home]. But this is [the producers'] story. If I were writing it, I would write it differently."
It's important to note that Michael did redeem himself in some capacity -- if his selflessness upon returning to the freighter wasn't obvious enough, he later told Jin to head for the chopper so he could "be a dad." Of course, Jin didn't make it ... but hey, the effort was there. That the advice came from Michael, who had his own paternal issues with Walt, seemed somewhat significant, though let's be honest, his redemptive arc wasn't nearly as triumphant or moving as Charlie's. When you consider how he betrayed his island mates in Season Two, Perrineau believes there was an underhanded motive to bringing Michael back.
"I thought it was disappointing and a waste to come back, only to get beat up a few times and then killed. I felt like it was sort of pandering to some fans who wanted to see Michael punished because he betrayed people.
"Listen, if I'm being really candid, there are all these questions about how they respond to black people on the show. Sayid gets to meet Nadia again, and Desmond and Penny hook up again, but a little black boy and his father hooking up, that wasn't interesting? Instead, Walt just winds up being another fatherless child. It plays into a really big, weird stereotype and, being a black person myself, that wasn't so interesting."
"Lost" co-creator Carlton Cuse responded by saying, "We pride ourselves on having a very racially diverse cast. It's painful when any actor's storyline ends on the show. Harold is a fantastic actor whose presence added enormously to 'Lost.'"
Does Perrineau have a legitimate gripe? "Lost" is certainly known for bringing dead people back for cameos, and it would seem that Walt (or children before they hit their growth spurt ...) is supposed to be a significant part of the island's mythology as the remaining season's play out.
But Michael? Alas, he is now a million scattered pieces in the crystal blue ocean ...
Finally, check out this footage from "Good Morning America" revealing alternate coffin endings so the Locke-Bentham secret couldn't leak. It was supposed to be Vincent!
We all knew it was coming. From the moment "There's No Place Like Home, Parts 2 and 3" kicked off with the follow-up scene to last season's "We have to go back!" game changer, we knew Grizzly Jack would end up back at HoffsDrawlar funeral parlor.
I'm sure if you listen close enough, you can hear keyboards frantically typing in unison as "Lost" fans light up message boards and blogs with their season finale observations. It'll be no different here at 10:58 p.m., with a few thoughts hopefully spurring more conversation as the TV season takes another breather and we look forward to a summer of "Wipeout" and "Celebrity Circus."
We have to go back a few weeks! We have to go back!
In all seriousness, the office pool had Locke as coffin man in a landslide. I'm just sayin' ... the Jeremy Bentham (another philosopher's name) business probably didn't throw anyone off, and once Hurley let it slip that JB was an alias, Locke was the logical choice. Kudos to Team Darlton for delivering on the coffin reveal, but it wasn't the "We have to go back" game changer of last season. Maybe if Locke had a beard ...
A few things stuck out from tonight's two hour "Lost"-a-palooza. The Desmond-Penny drama would seem to tie a nice neat bow on their love re-connection. Seriously, did anyone see that coming so soon? But inevitably, we'll be seeing Desmond in another life, brutha. After all, Ben is thirsty for revenge, so you have to imagine Penny will be in his crosshairs. Ben is too good (and judging by his stabbing outburst on Keamy, a little miffed) to let Sweet Miss Widmore slip by him. Maybe it'll mean a few well-placed cameos from Des, but as long as he's part of the show's fabric somehow, I'll be happy. If they really want to re-establish Ben as a villain, he'll succeed in killing Penny and completely destroy Desmond's world. Not that I want to see it happen, but plot-wise ...
Speaking of Ben as supreme villain, was that a Dick Cheney shout-out with the ever so flippant, "so" response to Locke saying everyone on the freighter was going to die?
OK, so the island finally moved. We knew it was coming, but it was still kinda cool to see it evaporate as the chopper flew overhead. It's strange to have an idea of how the time traveling manipulation actually works and then see the show take a very literal turn of the wheel with it. Does it ruin the magic a bit? Well, was it disappointing to learn how David Copperfield made the Orient Express dining car disappear back in the day? Wait ... David Copperfield didn't make the Orient Express actually disappear?
Anyway, I'm still thoroughly confused about the island's overall purpose (can anyone draw conclusions on this one?), but the wormhole business we've previously discussed on Channel Surfing seems to be a working reality. In some crazy capacity, at least. After all, Ben's trip to the island freezer was pretty ... weird. We know he ends up in Tunisia busting some Bedouin heads following his spin on the wheel of fate. Plus, has it now been confirmed that polar bears have been moving the island all along?
A lot of drawn out drama in tonight's episode. Keamy's reappearance (you gotta shoot him in the head, fools!) was completely unnecessary. The boat explosion was even a bit lackluster because I'm almost certain not actually seeing Jin die means he's, well, not actually dead. Michael ... he's probably a goner. The island, or just Christian Shephard, appears to be "done" with him. Redemption for giving Jin the "go be a dad" speech? You'd think Sawyer's time would be up soon since he's also playing the role of selfless savior lately. It's probably why the entire Oceanic Six needs to go back. While Ben and Locke certainly knew that there could be consequences to letting them leave, they have to WANT to stay. Not sure why, but the redemptive arc requires it. And we all know Pill Popper Jack has some serious flaws ("Who were you talking to?") in the real world.
So ... where does "Lost" go from here? Well, in four seasons, the show has gone from "We have to leave the island" to "We have to get back to the island." It's strange for the shoe to be on the other foot, but there's clearly a lot left to explain -- I'll be re-visiting my Top 10 "Lost" questions before the season opener sometime soon -- but it has potential to be even more riveting. Now that the split has officially occurred, the show has to work on both levels -- showing the damage Jack "left behind" on the island, and the Ben-Jack tandem trying to bring the Oceanic Six back thanks to some "new ideas." Meanwhile, Sayid will just keep killing people.
Just picture this though: Jack returning to the island with a Red Sox cap and Sawyer revealing that only like, four days have passed in his world since the good Doc grew his grizz-tastic beard and saw Locke's face pop up in the coffin. Boom.
I'm sure Adam will connect some dots tomorrow, and after a few more viewings this weekend, expect some more coverage and speculation into next week. In the meantime, leave a comment with any thoughts that can get those theories a-spinning ...
Seriously. You don't want me to have to start blogging about "The Mole," do you?
The Green Bay Press-Gazette's TV Blog. Or where we write about characters named Jim and Pam as if they were actually real. Brought to you with limited commercial interruption by...
Malavika Jagannathan Metro reporter All-time shows: The West Wing Gilmore Girls The Wire Current favorites: Desperate Housewives, Top Chef, Flight of the Conchords Guilty Pleasure: E! News
Kendra Meinert Entertainment editor All-time shows: Friends Gilmore Girls Beverly Hills 90210 Current favorites: Damages, 24, Brothers and Sisters Guilty Pleasure: Rock of Love Bus
Adam Reinhard Copy editor All-time shows: Lost Arrested Development Veronica Mars Current favorites: The Colbert Report, Scrubs, The Venture Bros. Guilty Pleasure: SpongeBob SquarePants
Thomas Rozwadowski Features reporter All-time shows: The Wire Freaks and Geeks Breaking Bad Current favorites: Modern Family, Lost, Mad Men Guilty Pleasure: Saved by the Bell
Kelly McBride Education reporter All-time shows: Seinfeld Cheers The Cosby Show Current favorites: Top Chef, Project Runway, The Office Guilty Pleasure: The Biggest Loser
Just one look at the cancellations this year of a number of second season mishaps is enough to prove why TV execs dread the sophomore year of any show. Even bright and promising shows can tank in year two, when writers and producers -- so giddy their show has been picked up for another year -- forget the formula that brought them there in the first place (ahem "Heroes" ahem) and replace it with mediocre blahness.
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