Rhombus. Rhombus? Rhombus. Rhombus?

Remember your high school geometry class? Remember thinking "When the heck am I ever going to use the Pythagorean theorem in real life, or need to know what a heptagon is?" And you would go back to ignoring the teacher and filling out your cootie catchers, the folding of which was all the geometry you needed.

Well thank God you didn't become a fashion model then, because as the contestants on VH1's "America's Most Smartest Model" found out on a recent episode, there's a price to pay for valuing Gucci over Euclid.

The four pairs of impossibly fit, impossibly hot, impossibly stupid catwalkers were tasked with designing and making outfits based on simple geometric shapes, provided by their competition. One pair, working only with the circle for inspiration, crafted a evening gown with large holes cut out of the hips and a hem that looked like a duck bill. Another, working with the rhombus and the trapezoid, decked out the female partner like an 80s glam girl-slash-Transformer. The outfit produced the greatest meeting of the minds I've ever seen on VH1, when model Blonde Rachel mispronounced rhombus as "rhommus," and show host Mary Alice Stephenson corrected her, leading to this brilliant exchange: "Rhombus." "Rhombus?" "Rhombus." "Rhombus?" It's the most the equilateral quadrilateral has ever been mentioned on basic cable.

(In fact, I kept waiting for co-host Ben Stein -- yes, THAT Ben Stein -- to chime in with some "Bueller? Bueller?" action, but to no avail.)

Blonde Rachel was then booted from the show, off to resume her day job: high school geometry teacher. (Kidding.)

The concept of "America's Most Smartest Model" -- which combines the glamour of "America's Next Top Model" with the excitement of social Darwinism -- pits well-coiffed dummkopfs against each other in tests of modeling ability and intelligence. The least stupidest gets $100,000 ... or 100,000 little green rectangles, if you prefer.

-- Adam Reinhard, lifeisfunnybutnothahafunny@gmail.com

(Think you have the looks and low IQ to be America's Most Smartest Model? Head over to http://smartestmodels.com/ .)