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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Bust out the keytar. It's Demetri Martin!

Demetri Martin is a fan of lists and language. He also likes charts and graphs, which kind of makes him the Fox 11 News of stand-up comedy.

So instead of writing a long-winded post, I'm going to copy his lead and lay out several simple reasons why you should watch "Important Things with Demetri Martin" at 9:30 p.m. tonight on Comedy Central.

1. Demetri Martin is very funny. That means his show should be just as funny.

2. He plays multiple instruments -- including guitar, piano and harmonica -- making him a sort of one-man Flight of the Conchords.

3. He's friends with the Conchords. That was Martin playing "Demetri" of the Crazy Dogggz in "The Third Conchord" at the end of Season 1.

4. One word from that episode: keytar.

5. His primary influences are Steven Wright and Gary Larson of "The Far Side." There's also a lot of Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts" to his act. These are all good things.

6. He's the guy who contributed "Trend-Spotting" pieces to "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart."

7. Stewart's Busboy Productions is behind "Important Things." Its last project: "The Colbert Report."

8. He received an Emmy nomination writing for "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." The head writer of "Important Things" is also Michael Koman, who was a writer at "Conan" for about 7 years. Again, these are all good things.

9. One of my favorite Martin jokes is:
“I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like, ‘Huh? What the hell is this?’, but if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like ‘This is nice!.’”

10. A few more of my favorite Martin jokes:

“One of my friends has a stutter and a lot of people think that’s a bad thing, but to me that’s just like starting certain words with a drum roll. That’s not an impediment, that’s suspense! What’s he going to say? Car?? … or Carnival?? …Carburetor!?!? Man …"

"If you have a pear shaped body, you should not wear pear colored clothes, or act juicy."

"I was on the street. This guy waved to me, and he came up to me and said, 'I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.' And I said, 'I am.'"

"There's a saying that goes, 'People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.' Okay. How about, 'Nobody should throw stones.' That's crappy behavior. My policy is: 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.' Don't do it. There is one exception though. If you're trapped in a glass house, and you have a stone, then throw it. What are you, an idiot? So maybe it's, 'Only people in glass houses should throw stones, provided they are trapped in the house with a stone.' It's a little longer, but yeah."

"It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location."

"I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put, 'Not gay.' But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put, '... but supportive.' It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays."

"The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast. "You're a d***! You deserved this! Also I'm sorry I broke your leg."

11. Like I said, Demetri Martin is very funny.

Check out the show's main page at Comedy Central. And enjoy these two super important videos.

-- Thomas Rozwadowski,

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I want to have a love child with Demetri Martin.

By Blogger Ms. Quarter, At February 11, 2009 at 11:41 AM  

"I went to get a haircut and asked for a trim. It must have came out, 'Gay Beatle please.'"

By Anonymous Anonymous, At February 12, 2009 at 12:24 PM  

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