Next year, "Seacrest out!'' on the red carpet, PLEASE

A few day-after Oscar Night awards from the train wreck that was the pre-show red carpet coverage:

Don't These People Do Any Research Award: To TV Guide Channel's Lisa Rinna, who apparently knew less about Amy Ryan than you and I. Strike 1: "I know you come from Boston ...'' Nope. Ryan said she's a New Yorker. Strike 2: "You're a presenter and a nominee ...'' Um, just a nominee, Ryan said. Yikes, and we used to think Joan Rivers was unprepared.

Leave The Toy Box at Home Award: To Ryan Seacrest, who felt the need to further cheese up his already cheeseball presence by breaking out all kinds of goofy props as the celebs were forced by on the red carpet for E! For Patrick Dempsey, a Patrick Dempsey doll. For Katherine Heigl, a china plate with his photo on it. For Amy Adams, grabbing her tiny mesh purse and using it to cover his privates. For the dead space between celeb encounters, a photo of Helen Mirren in Javier Bardem's "man bob'' from "No Country for Old Men.'' Classy, Seacrest. It was Oscar Night, not the MTV Awards.

Dumbest Question of the Night Award: It's a tie: Ryan Seacrest and Ryan Seacrest and Ryan Seacrest! Shocking, we know. He first asked George Clooney and his girlfriend Sarah Larson about how they were walking on Malibu Beach on Valentine's Day when she spotted a house she absolutely loved and Clooney went up and knocked on the door and said he'd buy it for her. One problem: None of it was true. "I've never heard that story in my life,'' said Clooney, who if he wasn't such an amiable guy, probably would've bopped him. Then came this head scratcher for John Travolta: "Are you excited to be here at the Oscars?'' Would've been riveting ... IF Travolta had said no. But for crass, it's hard to beat asking a pregnant Jessica Alba if she plans to breastfeed.

Best Weirdo Moment Award: To Gary Busey, who heckled Ryan Seacrest on the carpet as he was trying to interview Laura Linney and Jennifer Garner. Taking a page from the Glenn Close "Fatal Attraction'' handbook -- "I'm not gonna be ignored, Ryan!'' -- he then lunged into the camera frame to greet both actresses, laying a particuarly vigorous hair-crushing hug and kiss on a terrorized Garner, who was Affleck-less. Busey's apparently going for the Lifetime Achievement Award in this category.

Next Year Put Him Even Farther Away From the Red Carpet Award: To Joey Fatone, who, fortunately, was relegated to a platform away from the red carpet as Lisa Rinna's co-host for TV Guide. The guy would be lethal any closer. His summation of Jennifer Garner's look made mention that she "popped out a baby a while ago'' but now looks "a little skinnier, a little sexier.'' Charming. Leave it to Fatone to describe the freshest face of the night, 21-year-old "Juno'' star Ellen Page, as "a little tired.''

ABC Finally Did Something Right Award: For getting rid of Uber Dull What's His Name as one of three red carpet commentators for the 30-minute celeb feeding frenzy immediately before the start of the ceremony and replacing him with Regis Philbin. At least Reege looked happy to be there and offset the Shaun Robinson/Samantha Harris plasticness with a touch of old Hollywood class and some actual personality. When he called Miley Cyrus "kiddo'' and told George Clooney he'd see him in Italy, it worked, because everyone knows Reege is connected.

Shameless Plugs Award: In case you missed the 56 times Sean Combs mentioned it every time someone stuck a mic in his direction, he stars in "A Raisin in the Sun'' tonight on ABC. Honorable mention to ABC for working in a shot of future "Dancing with the Stars'' contestants Steve Guttenberg and Marlee Matlin on the red carpet, amongst heavy hitters like Zellweger, Kidman, Clooney and other A-listers. Not exactly subtle.

-- Kendra Meinert, kmeinert@greenbaypressgazette.com