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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Week 2: "Top Chef" Power Rankings

The weak continue to be devoured by the strong, with Bo-ring Bryan Voltaggio earning his second straight Elimination Challenge win while the customary collection of "Top Chef" losers blandly stood by.

Chief among them, Mattin, who probably should have gone home the previous week after failing to properly cook French food. Fashionable ascots and a striking resemblance to Tintin will only carry you so far.

As for our standings after one week of competition, in first place sits Mary (Thomas' wife and Channel Surfing devotee), with six points. In second with five, newcomer Evan Siegle. The rest of the pack settles at the bottom with big, fat zeroes.

Onto this week's picks. Rules refresher is here if you're joining late.

Remember to leave your picks in the comments section!

1. Michael “Maverick” V.
2. Kevin “Grizzly Adams” Gillespie
3. Jen Carroll
4. Bryan “Goose” V.
5. Michael “I’m a tool” Isabella
6. Eli Kirshtein
7. Ash Fulk
8. Ashley Merriman
9. Laurine Wickett
10. Robin L.
11. Ron “Rata-tat-tat” Duprat

-- Evan Siegle, 5 points

1. Misogynist Mikey
2. Bryan "Snoozeville" Voltaggio
3. Ashley (the dark horse?)
4. Michael "I bleed boredom" Voltaggio
5. Kevin the jolly lumberjack
6. Jennifer
7. Eli
8. Ash
9. Ron
10. Robin
11. Laurine

-- Kelly McBride, zero points

1. Kevin Gillespie, aka: Zach Galifianakis
2. Jennifer “I don't move my mouth when I talk” Carroll
3. Michael Voltaggio, aka: Chef Slim Shady, aka: Tony Hawk
4. Bryan “I do not smile. Ever.” Voltaggio
5. Eli “Seriously Jewish” Kirshtein
6. Ash Fulk, more like Ass... nevermind
7. Michael “Jagga bombs!” Isabella
8. Ashley “Ben Kweller/Young Bob Dylan” Merriman
9. Ron “Michael Clarke Duncan” Duprat
10. The chick who's name I will NEVER remember (aka: Laurine)
11. Robin “Seriously, I hate you” Leventhal

-- Sara Boyd, zero points

1. Jennifer
2. Kevin
3. Brother Mike
4. Laurine
5. Ash
6. Eli
7. Brother Bryan
8. Misogynist Mike
9. He-She Ashley
10. Ron
11. Robin

-- Malavika Jagannathan, zero points

1. "Big Red" Kevin
2. Michael Voltaggio
3. Jewwy Jewerson Eli
4. Bryan "The Human Valium" Voltaggio
5. Dopey Face Jen
6. Misogynist Mike
7. Laurine
8. Big Gay He-She Ashley
9. Big Gay Ash
10. Biggie Smalls Ron
11. Bye Bye Robin

-- Thomas Rozwadowski, zero points

1. Bland cheftestant #1 (Michael V.)
2. Bland cheftestant #2 (Bryan)
3. Bland cheftestant #3 (Kevin)
4. Bland cheftestant #4 (Jennifer)
5. Bland cheftestant #5 (Michael I.)
6. Bland cheftestant #6 (Eli)
7. Bland cheftestant #7 (Laurine)
8. Bland cheftestant #8 (Ron)
9. Bland cheftestant #9 (Ash)
10. Bland cheftestant #10 (Ashley)
11. Bland cheftestant #11 (Robin)

-- Adam Reinhard
, zero points

"Top Chef" airs at 9 p.m. Thursday on Bravo.

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1. Michael V.
2. Ashley
3. Bryan
4. Kevin
5. Michael I.
6. Laurine
7. Jennifer
8. Eli
9. Ash
10. Ron
11. Robin

By Anonymous Mary, At September 23, 2009 at 9:33 AM  

Crap, I picked the wrong bo-ring brother last week. That teaches me for not being able to tell them apart.

1. Kevin "Not Dizzy" Gillespie
2. Bryan "He's my favorite" Voltaggio
3. Jennifer "Two First Names" Carroll
4.Mikey V.
5. "Latrine" Wickett
6. Eli "Fatty Costello" Kirshtein
7. Michael the Douche
8. Ash "Baby Lipton" Fulk
9. Ashley Merriman, emphasis on man
10. Ja-Haitian Me Crazy Ron
11. Ro-Ro-Row your boat outta here Robin

By Blogger Ms. Quarter, At September 23, 2009 at 11:19 AM  

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