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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

For now it seems, the devil has not taken another soul

Yes, that's right -- the overly publicized and vomit-inducing marriage of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt aka: "Satan in the flesh" is not legit, not legit to quit. It appears the two have not been officially pronounced man, er, peach-fuzz beast and wife in the legal sense. The scenes from Monday night's episode -- which showed the pair in a California courtroom -- are as fake as Heidi, from the waist up.

A Los Angeles Superior Court official said MTV was granted permission to shoot in a courtroom in Beverly Hills but did so after hours with a fake judge. I would assume a real judge could not betray his judicial oath and loyalty to justice by granting a marriage license for anyone willing to marry Spencer, the abominable snowman. The TV crew had permission to film "what purported to be a wedding outside of court hours," court spokesman Allan Parachini told the Associated Press Tuesday.

Next week's preview features the two standing in front of a courtroom complete with the California state seal in front of a judge, who is somehow not looking in disgust. Parachini said civil ceremonies are sometimes performed in the courthouse, but not in the way the Pratts were shown in the preview. If a judge does preside during the nuptials, it's typically in his chambers during a break between actual court cases, he said.

As if the tequila-filled proposal in Mexico wasn't romantic enough, now it seems the two only-for-publicity's-sake-lovebirds are topping it off with a fake license as well. Neither Montag, 22, or Pratt, 25, have filed for marriage licenses in Los Angeles County, though the two could technically get married in any county in California or take the confidential license approach -- but we all know, this couple won't do anything unless US Weekly or MTV is there to document every second.

This time "The Hills" has gone too far -- even for crappy, non-reality "reality" TV.The whole Mexico getaway, not telling anyone they were leaving, then having characters on the Monday episode discuss "where's Heidi and Spencer?" on top of the fact that the whole MTV crew just happened to be ready to follow them on their last-minute vacay and Heidi just happened to have a white dress perfect for a Mexican fake wedding -- it's all a bit much.

The two are downing tequila like it's going out of style, Pratt convinces a hammered Heidi (let's face it -- that was the only way she'd agree) to elope while there and the next thing you know, it's the next day and they're watching their fake-5th-grade-backyard-pillow-case-as-a-veil-type wedding on a video camera, complete with a mini boom microphone.

Really MTV? Really? Shame on you.

Let's just hope MTV's still providing the booze and the cameras when Speidi realizes they can't ride the faux-celebrity gravy train for much longer and are forced to get a real job at McDonald's.

"The McHills" -- that sounds about as viable as a spinoff as "Bromance."

-- Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com

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4 Comments:

Not that I believed anything on the show anyway but what a farce! Staging a wedding is stupid but gets the kind of publicity they want. I wonder how much their script writers get paid. MTV is the real devil.

By Anonymous Anonymous, At December 17, 2008 at 5:10 PM  

I think you've insulted the abominable snowman.

By Blogger Ms. Quarter, At December 17, 2008 at 6:10 PM  

Boyd, you have done it again. First of all, MC Hammer reference noice!!! Secondly, peach-fuzz beast, right on sister. If you can't grow a real beard than give it up! Right? Right? The whole shot at Heidi though the fake above the waist thing, that's a low blow. Come on, you're better than that kid. Either way love your stuff, love it, keep on truckin'.

By Blogger boyd4pres012, At December 17, 2008 at 6:34 PM  

Ms. Quarter, you're absolutely right. My apologies to the descendants of the abominable snowman.

-- Sara

By Blogger Press-Gazette blogger, At December 18, 2008 at 12:50 PM  

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