coming soon to a theater near you...
To fully grasp how big of a deal this was for me, imagine all the hoopla and whoop-de-doo made about the recent "Sex and the City" movie; replace Sarah Jessica Parker with Scrooge McDuck, all those damn shoes with Huey, Dewey and Louie, and the nudity and naughty language with Rip Taylor voicing a genie. Boom — that was "Ducktales: The Movie." If life truly is like a hurricane, then "Ducktales: The Movie" was a freaking tsunami for young Adam.
Looking back at it now, it's possible I overreacted a little. Not only was the movie SPOILER ALERT not that great, but I was under the impression at the time that no other television show in history had ever made that monumental leap to the big screen. Ah, poor, naive idiot-child. Or could it be possible I actually had faith in the ability of Hollywood to concoct original film ideas?
Such faith is long since murdered, of course, and you need only look to this summer's movie line-up to find the culprit. This year alone we have film versions "Speed Racer," "Sex and the City," "Get Smart," and a new "X-Files" movie, all looking to turn a quick buck off ravenous fans of the original series.
Not all TV-to-movie adaptations have been bad, of course. And to celebrate this not-suckiness, the good folks over at RottenTomatoes.com — that web site that compiles reviews of movies in order to assign them average scores and designate them as "fresh" or "rotten" — have assembled a very good list of the top 50 TV-based movies ever made. This is not, mind you, a carefully rationalized compendium chosen by film scholars and movie geeks who spent weeks pouring over DVDs and scribbling notes. These are the top 50 based on the already existing Rotten Tomatoes scores. That's how "Borat" ended up being #1, because it's the best-reviewed movie based on a TV show (or TV show character, in this case) of all time.
This obviously exposes the list to reams of criticism and snarky feedback, which is kinda the point. "The Simpsons Movie," for example, comes in at #3, while the (in my opinion) superior "South Park" movie is #7. Six Star Trek movies make the list, the highest being "Star Trek: First Contact" at #6. (You can almost hear Shatner screaming "KAAAAAAHN!!", as "The Wrath of Khan" only made it to #7.) Last summer's awful "Transformers" made the list (#37), which sucks, but it is surpassed by "The Powerpuff Girls Movie" (#31), which rules. Also, "The Muppet Movie" sits pretty at a respectable #9, but is narrowly defeated by, of all things, "The Wild Thornberrys Movie" at #8. Seriously, what the hell is a wild thornberry, anyway? (Is it anything like a schnozzberry?)
Missing from the list? I don't know, only "Ducktales: The Frigging Movie," that's all. However, another childhood favorite, "Batman: Mask of the Phantasm," swings in at #19, even beating Adam West in "Batman: The Movie" at #29. (Yeah, suck it, Rozwadowski.)
Any of your favorites not there? Wanna dispute the rankings? Any TV show you can't believe hasn't been made into a movie yet? ("Darkwing Duck," hello?) Drop us a line.
-- Adam Reinhard, firstname.lastname@example.org