Running the Gauntlet: Week Two Power Poll

Each week I'll be providing a quick and dirty rundown of MTV's "Gauntlet III," or quite simply, television's guiltiest pleasure for the slow-witted "Real World/Road Rules" generation.

"Lost" and "The Wire" have been tying things up on my end, and I'm not sure what it says that I watch those two shows and then come back to the "Gauntlet." Oh well, it can't be filet mignon all the time. MTV threw me a curveball this week with an hour long episode, which bodes well for this season considering all previous installments were edited to a half-hour after the premiere. So viewers will be getting two eliminations in one night, and possibly (likely!) double the crazy. Seriously. Going to an hour must mean they have so much ridiculous footage that they can justify stacking each episode, which only gives rise to my theory that a drunken CT actually kills someone this season. Fingers crossed, folks. Fingers crossed.

This week was pretty short on drama, mainly because it featured all the new faces. After the rookies lost their second challenge, Jillian took down Angel in the Gauntlet, which actually had some tenacious back-and-forth to it. Kudos to both for competing, you know, unlike that wuss Alex, who gave up last week after, what, eight minutes in the sand? For the male Gauntlet, the rookies again were on the chopping block after veteran Adam stepped up in some weird puppet-style puzzle challenge that rewarded agility. That's 0-3 for the rooks if you're keeping count. Later, in some not-so-subtle foreshadowing, Tyler is shown making a play for fellow gay teammate Ryan, who reiterated that he only wants to keep their friendship at the "let's make out while drunk" level. Uh oh. To give Tyler's heartbreak that much airtime can only mean one thing. Yep, he's going home.

Sure enough, Johnny Bananas, ever the grudge holding SOB, wants Tyler sent packing as retribution for a similar fate in a previous "RW/RR" installment. (Note: It's always embarrassing for meaty jock-types to lose to gay guys.) Tyler is irate at how he's being sent in -- Johnny does an over-the-top gay impression that kills at frat parties -- and later has the audacity to play the "I need the money for grad school" card. Really? You're gonna go there, Tyler? I haven't witnessed an excuse this desperate since Bobby Brady faked sick to get Joe Namath to visit him.

To be fair, Bobby's plan actually worked. Unfortunately for Tyler, his own team turns on him for acting like such a pansy. Robot Frank -- a nice guy with no personality, hence the nickname -- squashes Tyler like a bug. Game over 'til next week.

The Puck Treatment

Pretty Boy Alex

Angel

Tyler

The Aneesa Ferreira Division (Worst. Challenge competitor. Ever)

Low Self-Esteem Johanna

Airhead Casey

Lesbian Come Lately Brooke

Not quite bottom-feeders

Ryan

Zack

Rambo Rachel

May die because of health reasons

Fat Eric

Anorexic Paula

Rising fast but not built for the long haul

Jillian

Robot Frank

Adam

Beauty Queen Tori

Unequivocally overrated

Roid Rage Danny

Melinda

Evelyn DeGeneres

Robin

Eight shades of crazy and proud of it

Bipolar Katie

Beastly Beth

Sleeper Du'Jour

Nehemiah

Dark Horses

"The Italian Stallion" Kenny Venci

Johnny Bananas

Tyrie

Serious contenders

Meatball Brad
Coral
Diem
Derek
Janelle

The Big Dogs

Loose Cannon CT

Evan Almighty

-- Thomas Rozwadowski, trozwado@greenbaypressgazette.com