Can the ball drop on Carson Daly's head?

Let's be honest. New Year's Eve is the perfect storm of awful.

Far too many people get sloshed because they have to. Paying at the door to hear crappy Nickelback covers is a crime. And even if you safely park yourself in front of the TV with a six-pack of root beer, you'll have to contend with mind-numbing "entertainment" offerings from hack celebrities like Ryan Seacrest, Perez Hilton and Carson Daly.

It's enough to make you wish Dick Clark were still alive.

Oh wait ... nevermind.

Anyway, get your fill of annoying crowd shots celebrating the most rudimentary accomplishment possible -- the turn of the calendar -- on any number of channels tonight.

You call it the New Year. I call it Tuesday.

From TVGuide.com:

New Year, No Limits (10 p.m.): ESPN jumps into 2008 — literally — by presenting two daredevil stunts. At midnight Eastern time, motorcyclist Robbie Maddison attempts to soar over the length of a football field on his bike, while stunt driver Rhys Millen tries to pull off a 360-degree backflip in a truck at the stroke of midnight on the West Coast.

New Year's Eve Live (10 p.m., FOX): Fox's Saturday-night funnyman Spike Feresten handles street-side interviews, while host Cat Deeley prowls above Times Square. Rock outfit Lifehouse, American Idol winner Jordin Sparks and her runner-up, Blake Lewis, are among the performers.

New Year's Eve with Anderson Cooper (10 p.m., CNN): Anderson rings in 2008 in Times Square, while a host of correspondents, including Kiran Chetry and Erica Hill, check in on celebrations in Key West, New Orleans, Las Vegas and overseas.

Tila Tequila's New Year's Eve Masquerade 2008 (10 p.m., MTV): The MySpace minx turned reality-TV star returns to MTV to host this New Year's costume party, with help from fellow online personality Perez Hilton. Mary J. Blige, Kid Rock, Good Charlotte and Paramore provide the music.

Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve 2008 (10:35 p.m., ABC; preshow starts at 9 p.m.): Dick Clark is joined once again by heir apparent Ryan Seacrest in Times Square, where Carrie Underwood, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers perform. Fergie hosts and performs in Hollywood, along with Akon, Natasha Bedingfield, Sean Kingston, OneRepublic, Plain White T's, Taylor Swift and Will.I.Am.

New Year's Eve with Carson Daly (10:35 p.m., NBC): Alicia Keys takes to the rooftop of Rockefeller Center for a performance during Carson's fourth-annual special, while rocker Lenny Kravitz burns it up in Times Square. Tiki Barber and Amy Robach handle reporting duties.

(For the record, I love Dick Clark. I'll never forget the time I saw Wham! lip-sync "Wham Rap" on "American Bandstand." Seriously. No disrespect meant to Mr. Clark, an ageless wonder and true music legend.)

-- Thomas Rozwadowski, trozwado@greenbaypressgazette.com