Milwaukee to become Milgokey on Friday
The exit of Allison Iraheta last night leaves only three bloggers -- Malavika, Sara and Adam -- in Channel Surfing's inaugural "American Idol" Punishment Pool. And if the drool from Simon Cowell's chin on Tuesday was any indication, Adam better start firing up his VCR ... because there ain't no way Danny Gokey or Kris Allen can stop Adam "Rock God" Lambert's momentum train.
Just in case you're one of the 10 people who don't actually watch "Idol" (and really, you're all my heroes), Milwaukee's Gokey is a bit of surprise to have made it to this important leg of the competition. After all, the guy screamed his way through Aerosmith's "Dream On" as if he just had his testicles chomped on by a rabid Rottweiler. In fact, the outrage is getting so heavy, fans of Allison the Troll are callously suggesting that Gokey's deceased wife is earning him (gasp!) "sympathy votes". Oh, DO NOT go there, "Idol" faithful!
(My theory: people who take the "musicianship" and "talent" on "American Idol" seriously are in no position to judge who deserves to win and who doesn't. All these contestants are equally mediocre. They'll all get album deals in the end and subsequently get dropped by their labels a year later. There, it's settled.)
Still, that minor detail won't stop Brew City from treating Gokey as if he just safely landed a jet in the Hudson River or saved his crew from a savage attack by Somali pirates. (Man, did CC Sabathia even get his own day? Because THAT dude totally deserved it for pitching his balls off last season.)
Per the Associated Press, "VISIT Milwaukee spokesman Dave Fantle said producers are bringing Gokey back to Milwaukee for a free public mini-concert, a parade and Gokey singing the national anthem at tomorrow's Milwaukee Brewers-Chicago Chicago Cubs game.
Gokey volunteers at Faith Builders Christian Church, which has locations in Milwaukee and Beloit. The Beloit location planned a screening of the show Wednesday evening after a service. Gokey will sing Friday morning at the Milwaukee location."
Per Decider Milwaukee, Packers players Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings, Nick Barnett and Ruvell Martin are also supposed to be at the parade and mini-concert. Our man on the scene, former Post-Crescent reporter/recovering Gannettoid Steven Hyden, appears inspired by the all-Gokey, all-the-time coverage.
So there you go. No snark. Just the facts.
If you love Gokey, by all means, take a day off and brave swine flu-infested Milwaukee (kidding, kidding) to give this guy some mad love in person. After all, I'm out of the Punishment Pool and don't ever have to watch "Idol" again ... so what do I care?
-- Thomas Rozwadowski, firstname.lastname@example.org