"Bee" afraid, "Daisies" fans

I hate to be a harbinger of doom.

But if "Pushing Daisies" can't post higher ratings than freakin' "Knight Rider," even Ned's magic touch won't be able to save Bryan Fuller's wonderful creation from getting (as Emerson Cod so eloquently puts it) "wiggity wiggity whacked!"

According to overnight numbers posted at Entertainment Weekly, "Daisies" grabbed 6.3 million viewers, down from its Season 1 debut (13 million), its Season 1 average (8.8 million), and its last original episode (6.8 million). It finished fourth in the 8 p.m. hour, behind Fox's "Bones" (9.8 million), a Wednesday night new comer that continues to out-perform its averages in last season's Monday and Tuesday time slots. Daisies also trailed NBC's "Knight Rider" (7.6 million), which actually grew its audience by about a million over the course of the hour and bested last week's season premiere by 3 percent, and CBS's comedy block of "The New Adventures of Old Christine" and "Gary Unmarried."

Mind you, "Gary Unmarried" was accidentally on my TV screen as my wife and I tried getting settled before flipping the ol' DVR to the "Daisies" premiere. Maybe two minutes into a painfully unfunny conversation between a shirtless, bloated Jay Mohr and his (I presume from the title) ex on the show, my wife said, "God, I can't even stand listening to this. Turn it off."

Yeah, that and a talking car from 1982 trampled the "Daisies" premiere.

To be fair, most, if not all, ("Chuck," "Private Practice," "Dirty Sexy Money,") shows that had long, strike-induced hiatuses posted lower numbers upon return. Still, as "Daisies'" sassy, silly, sweet-as-honey pun laden "Bee" episode proved Wednesday, not only is the show ridiculously clever and unique, it's a fast-paced joyride that whips playful plot strands so furiously, it can be really, really difficult to keep pace at times.

Now I know watching a talking car bust some doughnuts in a busy intersection (I assume that's what talking cars do) doesn't require a huge attention span. But c'mon, people!

Listening intently to witty dialogue is GOOD. Seeing Ned get dead bees dumped on him so he could bring them back to life for Chuck is GOOD. Smiling uncontrollably at a pig named Pigby is GOOD.

I don't want to see a "CHiPs" remake replace "Daisies" on ABC anytime soon. Adam doesn't want to choke down seconds of "TJ Hooker: Future Cop." And you sure as heck don't want to be responsible for pulling the adorable Kristin Chenoweth off my TV screen!

Bee all you can bee and start watching "Daisies" so we all don't get stung by reheated leftovers. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

-- Thomas Rozwadowski, trozwado@greenbaypressgazette.com