Worst. Shows. Ever.

I e-mailed a friend the other day to jokingly let him know that "Perfect Strangers" is being released on DVD in February. Nostalgia is funny that way. I definitely remember watching the show in my youth. But upon further review as an adult, I'd likely cringe at the sitcomy-ness of Balki telling Cousin Larry "don't be ridiculous" 80 times during the course of some foolish episode where the pair ended up on a game show - or something else outlandishly contrived that probably involved sheep.

So I'm telling you right now - even as someone who occasionally stops on Nick at Nite "Full House" reruns for a nostalgia-based TGIF cringe/laugh/cry - don't buy really bad '80s sitcoms on DVD because they were part of your early viewing habits. It's like purchasing one of those rotating, glistening hot dogs at a gas station because you're really, really hungry. It might seem like a good idea at the time, but trust me, you'll pay for that mistake later.

All of this blathering segues into the Chicago Tribune's "Worst TV Shows of All-Time" poll. The paper recently asked readers to rank the wretched (we're guessing the bulk of reality shows were disqualified, because ain't no way Joe Millionaire wouldn't be on this list ...), and based on close to 5,000 votes, here are the results.

1. "The Jerry Springer Show" (1991-present): 19.8%
2. "Cavemen" (2007): 15.6%
3. "Mama's Family" (1983-90): 7.3%

4. "Cop Rock" (1990): 6.9%

5. "Small Wonder" (1985-89): 6.6%

6. "Joanie Loves Chachi" (1982-83): 5.8%

7. "Barney & Friends" (1992-present): 5.3%

8. "Ernest Angley Hour" (1973-present): 4.0%

9. "Homeboys in Outer Space" (1996-97): 3.9%

10."My Mother the Car" (1965-66): 3.6%

11. XFL (2001): 3.4%

12. "Pink Lady and Jeff"(1980): 3.4%

13. "The Ropers" (1979-80): 2.8%

14."Manimal" (1983): 2.5%

15. "The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer" (1998): 1.5%

16. "B.J. and the Bear" (1979-81): 1.2%

17. "Mr. T. and Tina" (1976): 1.2%

18. "Petticoat Junction" (1963-70): 1.1%

19. "Beauty and the Beast" (1987-90): 1.0%

20. "Mr. Belvedere" (1985-90): 0.9%

21."Life With Lucy" (1986): 0.9%

22. "Turn-On" (1969): 0.6%

23. "You're in the Picture" (1961): 0.4%

24. "When Things Were Rotten" (1975): 0.4%

25. "The 100 Lives of Black Jack Savage" (1991): 0.1%

What? No love for "The Ueck" in Mr. Belvedere?" And "Boy Meets World" REALLY belongs on this list. I still want to punch Ben Savage in his dopey face all these years later ...

More suggestions? Discussion? An autographed picture of Steve Urkel to anyone who remembers the lyrics to ABC's TGIF theme song ...

-- Thomas Rozwadowski, trozwado@greenbaypressgazette.com