Wait, so screaming at foreigners doesn't get them to help you faster?
Now, I don't usually get THAT bent out of shape about reality shows because I realize that less-than-flattering moments are usually edited to make someone look worse than they actually are (ahem, "Top Chef" Hosea, ahem.) And let's face it, caring about no-names from reality TV? I'm not lame like the people who start crying foul at the end of "The Bachelor." I like to appear as if I have some sort of life and care about more important matters in the world.
But while it's usually fun to pile on a reality show villain (ahem, Lisa, ahem) or poke fun at other inadequacies (ahem, Leah, ahem) displayed front and center, sometimes behavior is so ugly, you really want to see someone get slammed by oncoming traffic on a busy New Delhi street.
Yet here's a guess that even an angry, chained-up tiger in Thailand would reject "The Amazing Race's" ugliest contestant as its chew toy.
Yeah, I'm talking to you, Jaime (at far right). I hate you with every bone in my body, and I refuse to apologize for it.
Last night's episode of "The Race" was a crushing disappointment for two reasons. My favorite team -- Mike and Mel White -- got the boot after taking bad advice from a Thai cabbie and falling way behind on the first leg. Rare "good guys" who played the game with respect and dignity, Team White was doomed from the get-go -- interview foreshadowing about enjoying the scenery more than the competition always a sure-fire sign you're about to bite the dust.
But onto the real story, one that makes me root for Jaime and Cara's demise with every fiber of my being.
True, Jaime has been a shrieking harpie from hell at random moments during this latest season, but last night's disgusting behavior took the proverbial cake. While in Thailand, she was quoted as saying, ''I don't like foreign languages! I'm so tired of listening to people talk sometimes.'' Oh yeah, because it's such an inconvenience to travel to another country and hear all this made-up foreign gibberish annoy your delicate American ears. Thailand only has 63 MILLION PEOPLE, Jamie.
Two, while operating a rickshaw (how very Seinfeld-ian) to a clue destination, Jaime screamed for a stranger to help her with directions. No, "Hey sir, I know this looks kind of crazy because I have a rickshaw and a camera following me. But would you mind helping a former NFL cheerleader with a simple task?" Nope. She screamed for an oblivious passer-by to help her -- "COME HERE, COME HERE!" like she was instructing a defiant two-year-old to come get his poopy diaper changed. And when he didn't know where to go, she spoke to him as if he were the stupidest person on the planet by pointing in both directions and bellowing "WHICH ONE?" like she was trying to defuse a bomb and only had seconds to choose the red or blue wire. Yeah, because complete strangers minding their own business are obligated to help crazy Americans with cameras following them ...
Worst of all, though, was her incessant screeching at a kindly old Thai business owner. The challenge was a puzzle-like scenario where racers had to find a clue in one of 99 drawers pulled open one-at-a-time by the shop keeper. Requires a bit of patience, don't you think?
Not for Ugly American Jaime. who instantly began screaming at the man to open drawers as if he were The Flash racing around the room. Here's a guess that "Race" producers told the man to be methodical out of fairness. Here's also a guess that they didn't warn the well-meaning shopkeeper that contestants might yell and berate him as though he was an umpire at a boorish dad's Little League baseball game.
Yet there was Jaime -- "NO, THAT ONE! OPEN IT! YES, THAT ONE!" -- treating the man with complete disrespect. Later, Jaime said, "The guy was most frustrating because I don't think he spoke a lick of English." Again. WOW. Yeah, it's also probably safe to assume he doesn't like apple pie and baseball, either, Jamie. HE'S FROM THAILAND, you idiot!
See, this kind of behavior (even if it allows me to vent on a blog) isn't remotely entertaining to me. It's sickening, plain and simple; the kind of close-minded idiocy that can't be written off as "reality show" ugliness because contestants are racing like mad for a million dollars.
Judging by her words and actions, Jaime possesses utter disdain for foreigners. And because of that, it's really too bad they didn't leave this pampered spray tan diva in remote Siberia ... or the kind of frigid wasteland where no one can hear you scream.
-- Thomas Rozwadowski, firstname.lastname@example.org
Labels: The Amazing Race