Ray Combs Didn't Need No Stinkin' Celebrities!
In case you haven't seen the glorious promos, NBC is pumping out a prime time "all-star" edition of "Family Feud" starting July 1. Normally I'd make fun of something like this, but in all honesty, the idea of a pitch meeting involving the words "Hosted By Al Roker," Peter Brady, Playboy Playmates, that Wolf guy from "American Gladiators" and Creed from "The Office" has me downright giddy.
It's no secret. I like my reality TV/game show hybrids to be as outlandish as possible, and already "Celebrity Family Feud" has several things going for it. Among them: Deion "Must Be The Money" Sanders' daughter "Deiondra," a confirmed racist in Dog the Bounty Hunter, Bruce Jenner's Botox-laden alien face, Wayne Newton's Botox-laden alien face, Joan Rivers' Botox-laden alien face, Ice T's wife and her silicone-laden alien ... face, confirmation that Corbin Bernsen is indeed still alive, Margaret Cho's need for TWO assistants, and Larry the Cable Guy's mom, Shirley, who is the only person who has seen both "Delta Farce" AND "Witless Protection" in their entirety.
(Wait, you did, too? Seriously. Stop reading this blog.)
Man, if only they could have assembled all these great ideas for an original reality TV premise called "I Survived a Japanese Game Show!" Oh wait ...
The celebrity match-ups are as follows:
Bill Engvall vs. Larry The Cable Guy
Bill Engvall; Wife, Gail; Daughter, Emily; Son, Travis; Bill's mom, Jeanne
Larry the Cable Guy; Cara the Cable Wife; Tom the Cable Brother; Debbie the Cable Sister; Shirley the Cable Mom
Vivica A. Fox vs. Mo'Nique
Vivica A. Fox; Sister, Alecia; Brother, Marvin; Brother, William; Niece, Sharday
Mo'Nique; Husband, Sidney; Her cousin, Eric; Her cousin, Terrance; Family friend, Rodney
"American Chopper" vs. Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry
Paul Teutul; Son, Paul Jr.; Son, Mikey; Family friend, Steve; Family friend, Ron
Christopher Knight; Adrianne Curry; Family friend, Andrea; Adrianne's brother, Nick; Adrianne's mom, Christine
Corbin Bernsen vs. Margaret Cho
Corbin Bernsen; Wife, Amanda; Son, Oliver; Son, Henry; Son, Angus
Margaret Cho; Dad, Seung Hoon; Mom, Young Hie; Margaret's assistant, John; Margaret's assistant, SeleneThe Kardashians vs. Deion Sanders
Kim Kardashian; Khloe Kardashian; Kourtney Kardashian; Bruce Jenner; Kris Jenner
Deion Sanders; Wife, Pilar; Son, Deion Jr.; Daughter, Deiondra; Deion's Aunt Annette
Ice T vs. The Rivers
Ice T; Wife, Coco; Son, Ice; Coco's mom, Tina; Family friend, Sean
Joan and Melissa Rivers; Joan's nephew, Andrew; Joan's assistant, Sabrina; Joan's niece, Caroline
Raven-Symone vs. Wayne Newton
Raven-Symone; Mom, Lydia; Rondell Sheridan, her TV Dad; Brother, Blaize; Tkeyah Crystal Keymah, her TV Mom
Wayne Newton; Wife, Kathleen; Daughter, Erin; Kathleen's mom, Marilyn; Kathleen's sister, Tricia
Tiki Barber vs. Ed McMahon
Tiki Barber; Wife, Ginny; Mom, Geraldine; Cousin, Geoff; Cousin, Tess
Ed McMahon; Wife, Pam; Son, Alex; Granddaughter, Alexandra; Pam's brother, Sandy
The Hickeys from "My Name Is Earl" vs. The Camden County All-Stars from "My Name Is Earl"
Earl (Jason Lee); Randy (Ethan Suplee); Joy (Jaime Pressly); Darnell (Eddie Steeples); Catalina (Nadine Velazquez)
"The Office" vs. "American Gladiators"
Brian Baumgartner; Phyllis Smith; Kate Flannery; Oscar Nunez; Creed Bratton
Laila Ali; Wolf; Jet; Venom; Titan
Vincent Pastore vs. "Girls Next Door"
Vincent Pastore; Ex-wife, Nancy; Daughter, Renee; Renee's fiance, Christopher; Family friend, Kathrine
Bridget Marquardt; Holly Madison; Kendra Wilkinson; Sara Underwood; Jayde Nicole
Kathie Lee Gifford vs. Dog The Bounty Hunter
Kathie Lee; Frank Gifford; Son, Cody; Daughter, Cassidy; Frank's granddaughter, Christina
Dog the Bounty Hunter; Wife, Beth; Son, Duane Jr.; Son, Leland; Daughter, Lyssa
Yeah, there really isn't much more to say. This is the new frontier for cheap programming, and for the potential comedy factor, it'll probably draw viewers who have nothing better to watch during the summer. I can only hold out hope for "Celebrity Scrabble" and a long-awaited battle between noted wordsmiths Mr. T and Gary Busey.
-- Thomas Rozwadowski, firstname.lastname@example.org
Labels: game shows