The Hills are ... scripted and over!

Last night's season finale of the MTV hit "The Hills" had it all -- a countdown to the finale with an airing of past episodes, an after party with guest performer Usher and the ladies themselves looking super glam. The one tiny thing the show's final episode was lacking? An interesting, unscripted plot.

Oh yes, that's right. "The Hills'" premise! Oh silly MTV, how could you forget?

Recent attacks have called the show's events contrived/staged after a scene with douche bag king Spencer had him in black shoes one minute, and white shoes the next. Well really, we all knew the show wasn't 100 percent reality. No show that claims to be reality is. If you have producers, cameramen, microphones and executives wanting drama, you cannot possibly have reality. Do you honestly think that if Heidi leaves and doesn't tell Spencer she's going to Vegas, the cameramen will just keep patiently filming homeless Spencer as he eats Cheetos and watches "Jerry Springer?" I don't think so.

But even for reality TV, "The Hills" needs to pull it back a bit. At times I swear Heidi was reading off cue cards. Last night's episode goes to show that perhaps the characters, er, I mean "real life people" have gotten a little swept up in "The Hills'" celeb status and subconsciously create drama-filled plot lines or stupid decisions for added buzz.

What about Heidi claiming for the first time in her life that she's excited to be advancing in her career and then giving all of that up when D-Bag Spencer shows up to ruin her professionalism? I can't understand any plausible reason Heidi could honestly say she didn't want to be with Spencer and instead focus on her "career" one minute, then jump ship and throw all that away just because Spencer shaved after three months. Emmy nomination anyone?

Lauren and Audrina's "tear-jerker" moment when LC shed a few tears trying to figure out why Audrina is so distant - beyond living in the guest house - was less than moving. If LC can't see that bratty, not-attractive Lo is definitely the problem, she's more delusional than Heidi thinking she looks like a natural blonde. Perhaps I'm a little biased because I've grown to dislike Lo since "Laguna Beach," but seriously, that girl sucks. How could Audrina feel anything but left out after Lo looks disappointed everytime the spacey brunette is around her and her precious BFF LC?

The previews for next season look promising but we'll have to wait and see. Perhaps MTV will wise up and either admit the show is scripted and add a laugh track next season, or maybe, just maybe, we'll get an actual reality show with less than perfect transitions and actual situations.

"The Hills" returns with Season Four in August.

-- Sara Boyd, sboyd2@greenbaypressgazette.com